In
that most charming idyl of inspiration, the Book of Ruth, we have depicted
before us a number of ancient Hebrew customs, one of which is the workings of
the law of inheritance. One section of this divinely given code required that
in case a man of property died childless, his brother or nearest kinsman should
marry the widow “to raise up the name of the dead upon his inheritance, that
the name of the dead be not cut off from among his brethren, and from the gate
of his place” (Ruth 4:10). This assured the perpetuation of his name and with it
the continuance of the inheritance in his branch of the family on the male
side.

    Ruth,
the Moabitess, was, as we know, a widow. Mahlon, her husband (a Hebrew) had
died in the land of her nativity, and she with her widowed mother-in-law,
Naomi, had returned in poverty to the land of Judah. The landed estate of the
family was, according to law, nonforfeit, that is, it could “not be sold for
ever” (Lev. 25:23). It could be only what we might call mortgaged until the
year of Jubilee, or release, when it would return automatically to the original
owners, freed of all encumbrance. And the situation now at this stage of the
story is that Boaz, a kinsman of wealth, is quite willing to do the kinsman*s part and both marry Ruth and
redeem the inheritance. But he must say to trembling Ruth, “And now it is true
that I am thy near kinsman:howbeit there is a kinsman nearer than I. Tarry
this night, and it shall be in the morning, that if he will perform unto thee
the part of a kinsman, well; let him do the kinsman’s part; but if he will not
do the part of a kinsman to thee, then will I do the part of a kinsman to thee,
as the Lord lives; lie down until the morning” (Ruth 3:12,13).

    The
nearer kinsman, therefore, must be given first chance. And in the portion of
the narrative given in Ruth 4, we see how this was managed and the result. “I
will redeem it,” this kinsman unhesitatingly says at the first; but when
informed that with the purchase he must also marry Ruth, the original owner*s widow, he draws back. “I cannot
redeem it for myself, lest I mar my own inheritance,” he says. He shamefully
refuses to do the kinsman*s part; the way being cleared,
Boaz himself generously buys the “parcel of land,” and gladly takes Ruth to be
his wife.

    Two
most important lessons may be gathered from this incident. One is the kindly
consideration of God in concealing the name of the delinquent nearer kinsman.
He evidently through selfishness shirked his bounden duty toward his brother*s destitute widow; but God, ever
ready, when consistent with the interests of truth and righteousness, to
conceal the weaknesses and follies if His failing people, does not permit to be
divulged the name of him who, to save himself some trouble or expense, refused
to do the kinsman*s part. In Deut. 25:10 we are told
of the disgrace attaching to such unseemly conduct; the slighted woman, among
other things, was to spit publicly in the slacker*s face.

    But
see how the God of Israel, yes, our God, graciously keeps the unworthy
name out of the public record. Boaz doubtless knew well his name and called it
out, in hailing him at the gate (our “court house”) of the city. “Ho, such a
one! turn aside, sit down here,” he calls. “Such a one”; that is
all—and it is enough. There is no further clue concerning his identity. This is
our God! “Charity (love) shall cover the multitude of sins” (1 Pet. 4:8) and
“God is love” (1 John 4:8). He sets us here the lovely example of hiding from a
curious posterity the name of him whose conduct was so unworthy. The claims of
justice did not require that the name be made known to us. The descendants of
the man, henceforth known as “the house of him that has his shoe loosed,” were
not to be perpetually thus stigmatized. A few generations and the incident
would be forgotten and the reproach resting on the family removed. The
identification was not to be continued through the Scripture record to eternal
ages. For this we exclaim, “How good is the God we adore!”

    “Followers
[or imitators] of God as dear children” (Eph. 5:1) is the word. Let us be that
in this as in everything else, dear brethren. Only when necessity requires
either the exercise of holy discipline in the assembly or the rectification of
wrongs done to another should we make known our brother*s sin or give publicity to his
tarnished name. “Their sins and their iniquities will I remember no more” (Heb.
8:12) He says of us who believe. May His grace to us in this make us to be ever
tender toward the erring brother.

    Now
for a brief moment let us see what the delinquent kinsman missed. The divinely
preserved genealogies reveal it. His name might have gone down in the
ever-enduring Word of God as one of the ennobled ancestors of our glorious
Lord. And what honor to him that would have been! But he missed it, and the
less self-seeking Boaz, who had only second claim, obtained the honor of having
his name chronicled in the lineage of his and our and David’s Lord. Little did
the “nearer kinsman” suspect anything of this.

    And
what of you and me and others, privileged fellow Christian? Do we, regardless
of the cost to ourselves, embrace the opportunities offered us to have our
names held in everlasting remembrance in the records that shall never pass
away? Here we may serve our brethren, in doing which we “serve the Lord
Christ.” God is taking account, be assured; and if we shirk in the position and
responsibilities assigned to us by the Lord, what will we not miss! Much, every
way, we may be certain; and the loss that will grieve us most “in that day”
will be the withholding from the lips of Him whom we love that word, “Well
done, you good and faithful servant … enter into the joy of your Lord” (Matt.
25:21). It will be His joy; for He joys in being enabled to commend even
one of the least and most unprofitable of His servants.

    Oh,
“covet earnestly” the honor of His word of commendation, cost what it may. The
“light affliction,” as also the equally light earthly losses such as worldly
honors, and all else that we may suffer in our devotion to Christ and His
interests here, will surely work out for us a “far more exceeding and eternal
weight of glory” (2 Cor. 4:17). Be it yours and mine, Christian reader, to be
faithful in serving and following our beloved Lord and Saviour.

 

 

Midst the
darkness, storm, and sorrow,

    One
bright gleam I see:

Well I
know the blessed morrow,

    Christ
will come for me.

 

Midst the
light and peace and glory

    Of
the Father’s home,

Christ
for me is watching, waiting—

    Waiting
till I come.

 

Long the
blessed Guide has led me

    By
the desert road;

Now I see
the golden towers—

    City
of my God.

 

There,
amidst the love and glory,

    He is
waiting yet;

On His
hands a name is graven

    He
can ne’er forget.

 

There,
amidst the songs of heaven,

    Sweeter
to His ear

Is the
footfall through the desert

    Ever
drawing near.

 

There,
made ready, are the mansions,

    Glorious,
bright, and fair;

But the
bride the Father gave Him

    Still
is wanting there.

 

Who is
this who comes to meet me

    On
the desert way,

As the
Morning Star, foretelling

    God’s
unclouded day?

 

He it is
who came to win me

    On
the cross of shame;

In his
glory, well I know Him,

    Evermore
the same.

 

Oh, the
blessed joy of meeting,

    All
the desert past!

Oh, the
wondrous words of greeting

    He
shall speak at last!

He and I
together entering

    Those
bright courts above;

He and I
together sharing

    All the
Father’s love.

 

Where no
shade nor stain can enter,

    Nor
the gold be dim—

In that
holiness unsullied

    I
shall walk with Him.

 

Meet
companion then for Jesus,

    From
Him, for Him made;

Glory of
God’s grace forever

    There
in me displayed.

 

He who in
His hour of sorrow

    Bore
the curse alone;

I who
through the lonely desert

    Trod
where He had gone.

 

He and I
in that bright glory

    One
deep joy shall share—

Mine, to
be forever with Him;

    His,
that I am there.

 

     (From
Help and Food, Vol. 3.)

    “Whom have I in heaven but Thee? and there is none
upon earth that I desire besides Thee” (Psa. 73:25).

 

    Thus speaks the Bride whose feet have trod

    The chamber of eternal rest,

    The secret treasure-house of God,

    Where God is manifest:

    “Created things, arise and flee,

    Ye are but sorrow and care to me.”

    This wide, wide world, so rich and fair,

    Thou sure canst find thy solace there?

    “Nay, ’neath the flowers the serpent glides

    Amidst the bravery envy hides.”

    And is not heaven enough for thee?

    “Were God not there, ’twere a tomb to Me.”

    O bride, the saints in glory shine;

    Can they not fill this heart of thine?

    “Nay, were the Lamb their Light withdrawn,

    The saints in gloom would weep and mourn.”

    Can the Son of God not comfort thee?

    “Yea, Christ and none besides for me.

    For mine is a soul of noble birth,

    That needeth more than heaven and earth;

    And the breath of God must draw me in

    To the Heart that was riven for my sin.

    For the Sun of the Godhead pours His rays

    Through the crystal depths of His Manhood’s grace,

    And the Spirit sent by Father and Son

    Hath filled my soul, and my heart hath won;

    And the longing and love are past and gone,

    For all that is less than God alone—

    God only, sweet to this heart of mine,

    O wondrous death that is life divine!”

     (From
Hymns of ter Steegen and Others, Vol. 2.)

    “And I heard as it were the voice of a great multitude
… saying, Alleluia:for the Lord God omnipotent reigns. Let us be glad and
rejoice, and give honor to him; for the marriage of the Lamb is come, and his
wife has made herself ready. And to her was granted that she should be arrayed
in fine linen, clean and white:for the fine linen is the righteousness of
saints. And he said unto me, Write, Blessed are those who are called unto the
marriage supper of the Lamb…. These are the true sayings of God” (Rev.
19:6-9).

    There are two main subjects in this passage:(1) God
manifestly assuming His kingly power and (2) the Lamb taking to Himself His
bride—the Church of the New Testament. The moment has not yet arrived for the
Lord Jesus Christ, who suffered as none ever did, to mount His throne. But all
is getting ready for that grand event. O blessed moment for which creation
groans and waits, for which the Church hopes and prays, and for which the
wearied tribes of Israel long with eager expectation! The Nazarene is God’s appointed
King. But two events must necessarily take place before the throne of the world
is occupied by Christ:Babylon must be judged on earth, and the marriage of the
Lamb must be celebrated in heaven. The first is described in Revelation 18; we
are now about to consider the second.

    In the subject now to be introduced the affections are
deeply stirred and the heart moved to its very center. Hence the prefatory call
to rejoice and give God glory, for the “marriage of the Lamb is come, and His
wife has made herself ready.”

    This great and grand event is the consummation of joy
to Christ as Man. It is not said the marriage of the bride, but the
marriage of the Lamb. It is His joy that is specially in view, not
ours. The marriage, of which no details are given, takes place in heaven, and
on the eve of the Lord’s return in power, subsequent to the rapture (1 Thess.
4; John 14:3). The marriage is the disclosed secret of Ephesians 5:32. Not Israel, nor a remnant thereof, but the Church of the New Testament is the bride. Israel in her land was the wife of Jehovah (Jer. 3:14-20; Isa. 54:1), but the wife was
divorced because of her iniquity. Israel, however, is to be reinstated in
Jehovah’s favor. But a divorced wife can never again be a virgin, and it is not
a divorced wife but a virgin whom the Lord marries (Lev. 21:13,14; 2 Cor.
11:2). Israel, moreover, has her place and blessing on the earth; the
marriage of the Lamb is in heaven, the Church’s proper home. The exclusively
heavenly character of the scene forbids the application of it to the nation of Israel.

    Of whom is the bride composed? We answer
unhesitatingly, all saints embraced between Pentecost (Acts 2) and the
translation (1 Thess. 4:17). These events respectively mark the commencement
and the termination of the Church’s sojourn on earth. The Church, then, is the
bride. The Church is imperishable because founded on the glory and dignity of
Christ as Son of God (Matt. 16:18). His body is the nearest of all to
Him (Eph 1:23) and the bride is the dearest object to His heart and eye.
He has loved the Church with a deathless love that knows no cessation till He
presents her in glory to Himself (Eph. 5:25-27). The Church is about to be
displayed in the kingdom as the bride and wife of the Lamb. His glory and joy
is exceeding! More of the oil of gladness is poured upon His head than upon
ours (Heb. 1:9). Our place, our blessing, our gladness are wrapped up in His.
Then shall He who died “see of the travail of His soul and be satisfied” (Isa.
53:11).

    “His wife has made herself ready.” There are two sorts
of fitness, and the Church is the subject of both. First, God in the exercise
of His sovereign grace makes one fit for heavenly glory—“meet to be partakers
of the inheritance of the saints in light” (Col. 1:12). Second, believers have
to make themselves ready before they enter on their eternal glory. That is, the
story of earth has to be gone over again in the presence of Him who is light.
Our lives have to be reviewed at the “judgment seat of Christ” (2 Cor. 5:10).
The light of the throne will be cast over and upon every moment of our lives,
discovering the hidden, and bringing out the true character of every act, word,
and service. The enigmas of life will be explained, unsolved problems cleared
up, and all mistakes and misunderstandings rectified. This precedes the
marriage:“His wife has made herself ready.” What would it be if in glory we
remembered one incident of a painful kind that had not been set right? All will
come out at the judgment seat as a matter between each saint and God. It will
not be a public exposure before others. Nor must this be understood as
signifying judicial judgment; all that has been settled on the Cross. We appear
before the judgment seat of Christ crowned and glorified, “raised in glory”
(1 Cor. 15:43), to have the light of the throne cast upon the past. What a
mercy that it is so. We shall then pass from the judgment seat with its
searching light into the loved presence of the Lamb as His bride and wife for
ever.

    “And to her was granted that she should be arrayed in
fine linen, clean and white:for the fine linen is the righteousness of
saints.” The harlot (Rev. 17) was gorgeously arrayed, but her pomp, splendor,
and ornaments were claimed as a matter of right. With the bride it is
different; she is arrayed as a matter of grace. The fine linen, pure and
lustrous, of the bride is her righteousness, or righteous acts, done on earth.
But she claims no merit, for these righteous acts were wrought by the power of
the Holy Spirit in her. Her garments bespeak her practical character. She can
now enter on the enjoyment of eternal companionship and union of the closest
nature (that of wife) with her husband, the Lamb. Her deeds on earth have
been appraised at their true value in heaven.

    “Write, Blessed are those who are called unto the
marriage supper of the Lamb.” The bride and guests are clearly distinguished.
The former is, of course, in more immediate relation to the Lamb. The bride is
wed; the guests sup. Those called to the supper are “blessed.” This is not said
of the bride. Her blessing, which is that of the highest order and character,
is expressed in the simple words, bride and wife. What
unspeakable joy is conveyed in these terms! But the guests are pronounced blessed.
Who are they? We answer, the friends of the Bridegroom. But as the friends
of the Bridegroom they enjoy a higher and dearer character of
blessedness than they would if merely the friends of the bride. John the
Baptist expressly tells us that he is a friend of the Bridegroom (John 3:29).
The Baptist was martyred before the Church was formed, hence he comes in as
perhaps the most honored of the guests at the marriage supper. Old Testament
saints constitute the large company of called guests, each one being a friend
of the Bridegroom, and rejoicing in His presence and voice. The apocalyptic
martyrs (Rev. 20:4) are not raised till after the marriage, hence cannot
be numbered among the guests. Angels may be spectators of the scene, but guests
they cannot be. Angels are never spoken of in the way that these are. It is
called a supper, perhaps in contrast to the subsequent supper of judgment (Rev.
19:17). The former is in connection with the Lamb and His joy; the latter is in
relation to God and the judgment He executes on the ungodly.

    These divine communications have attached to them all
the weight and authority of God Himself. “These are the true sayings of God.”
The basis of our faith is not conjecture, but the certainty that God has
spoken. Absolute certainty is of prime importance in these days when the
dogmatism of belief in a divine revelation is considered to savor of a narrow
and illiberal spirit. In old times God spake in the prophets; in New
Testament times God has spoken in His Son (Heb. 1:1,2). How blessed,
therefore, to have the confirmation of these grand and heart-gladdening truths
from God Himself!

    (From Exposition of the Revelation of Jesus Christ.)

 

* * * * *

 

    Our love to Him should begin on earth, as it shall be
in heaven; for the bride takes not by a thousand degrees so much delight in her
wedding garment as she does in her Bridegroom. So we, in the life to come,
howbeit clothed with glory as with a robe, shall not be so much affected with
the glory that goes about us, as with the Bridegroom’s joyful face and
presence.

                                 Samuel Rutherford
(1600-1661)

 

 

    Adam and Eve had it easy, didn’t they? They didn’t
have to try to figure out whom they were supposed to marry; they were literally
made for each other—by God. Christian young people today who want to
find the right marriage partner—the one God has prepared for them—may find it
more difficult than did the first bride and groom.

Examples in Scripture of

Premarital Interactions

    Let us look at some examples in the Bible of
“boy-meets-girl” situations and man-woman interactions before marriage; then we
shall try to draw some lessons and principles from these examples for Christian
young people today.

    1. Isaac was content to let Abraham’s servant,
through God’s guiding hand, find a bride for him (Gen. 24).

    2. Jacob helped his cousin (and future wife)
Rachel water her sheep (Gen. 29:10,11).

    3. Dinah “went out to see the daughters of the
land” and got raped (Gen. 34:1,2).

    4. Moses protected the seven daughters of Reuel
as they watered their sheep; as a reward, he was given one of the daughters,
Zipporah, to be his wife (Exod. 2:17_21).

    5. Samson’s relationship with Timnath was a
selfish one—based on her pleasing him (Judg. 14:1-10).

    6. Samson supposedly “loved” Delilah but didn’t
have an open, honest relationship with her, and it destroyed both the
relationship and himself (Judg. 16:4_21).

    7. Ruth was a Moabite whose Israelite husband
died. Boaz learned of Ruth’s loyalty to Naomi—her mother_in_law and Boaz’s
cousin-in_law—and so he encouraged Ruth to glean in his field and provided
protection for her. Ruth had a reputation as a virtuous woman and this
attracted her to Boaz (Ruth 2,3).

    8. David committed adultery with Bathsheba while
she was married to Uriah, and then had Uriah killed so he could marry Bathsheba
and cover up her pregnancy. The consequences of these sinful actions haunted
David the rest of his life (2 Sam. 11-18).

    9. Joseph felt disgraced and nearly broke his
engagement when he discovered that Mary, his bride, was pregnant (Matt. 1:19;
Luke 1:27_35).

Dating and Courtship Today

    The following questions often are asked about dating:
How old should a girl be before going out alone with a boy? How late should a
couple be allowed to stay out? Should kissing be permitted on the first date?
any date? Is it okay for a Christian to date a non_Christian? We won’t try to
answer all of these questions because there are other, more basic, questions
that need to be asked about dating:Is dating scriptural at all? What purpose
does dating serve in discovering God’s choice for my marriage partner?
Does dating tend to turn one’s attention away from (1) seeking God’s
will concerning a lifetime partner, and (2) devoting oneself to growing in the
Word of God and in likeness to Christ so as to be the best possible marriage
partner for the one of God’s choice?

    Let us see what we can learn about dating from the
scriptural examples given earlier and from scriptural principles.

    1. Scripture forbids marriage between a believer
in Christ and an unbeliever because it is an unequal yoke (2 Cor. 6:14). The
believer and unbeliever have totally different goals and objectives in life
which their love for each other will never be able to overcome. Therefore, a
believer should never enter into a relationship that could lead to marriage
with an unbeliever. If an unbeliever asks you for a date, make a counter
invitation to gospel meeting, Bible study, or a discussion of the Scriptures at
your home with you and your parents.

    2. Scripture also instructs us to marry “only
in the Lord” (1 Cor. 7:39). This means that a woman who loves the Lord and is
seeking with all her heart to know and do God’s will in every area of her life
should not enter into a serious relationship with a man who claims to be
a born-again Christian but shows no interest in engaging in Christ-centered
discussions or activities.

    3. Going out and looking for a fellow or girl or a fun
time or a romantic evening often leads to disaster (Dinah was raped; Samson’s
marriage with Timnath was very short-lived; Samson’s friendship with Delilah
led to the loss of his strength; David’s voyeurism led to his committing adultery
and murder; Bathsheba was inviting trouble when she bathed in view of nearby
residents.

    4. Several women in the Bible were discovered by
men—eventually leading to marriage—while they (the women) were engaged in their
daily household responsibilities or helping their parents. These include
Rebekah, Rachel, and Zipporah when they came to the public well to draw water,
and Ruth when she was gleaning in Boaz’s field to provide food for herself and
her mother_in_law. Abigail impressed David at their first meeting because of
her industriousness (she prepared a huge meal for David and his men) and
because of her fearless, faithful, but gentle rebuke to David which kept him
from shedding innocent blood (1 Sam. 25:24-42).

    5. The wife of Proverbs 31 was attractive to her
husband because he could safely trust her (verse 11), she consistently did good
things for him (verse 12), she worked diligently each day to provide the family
with food and clothing (verses 13_22), her labors resulted in enough additional
clothing to sell (verse 24), she was not selfish but helped the poor and needy
as well as her own household (verse 20), she habitually spoke words of wisdom
and kindness (verse 26), and she feared the Lord (verse 30). She did not
require physical beauty to be attractive and highly respected (verse 30).

    6. Sex before marriage is forbidden by God (Prov.
5:1-14; 6:20-35; Matt. 15:19; Acts 15:20; 1 Cor. 6:18; Eph. 5:3; 1 Thess. 4:3)
and can lead to disastrous consequences. It was an expected thing in Israel that a bride be found to be a virgin on her wedding night (Deut. 22:13-21; Matt.
1:19). Therefore, avoid any and every situation that might give room to
temptation. Don’t trust your ability to triumph over temptation. Peter
confidently claimed, “Lord, I am ready to go with thee, both into prison and to
death” (Luke 22:33). Pray, “Lead us not into temptation” (Matt. 6:13), and then
cooperate with God by not giving temptation any opportunity to assert itself.
Instead of going out on “dates,” just the two of you alone, try taking walks in
public places. Or plan activities at home where you can be doing things
together (like baking cookies, washing the car, making a puzzle, playing a
game, or studying the Bible together), are free to talk together, can interact
with other family members (perhaps your future in_laws), and thus not be far
away from other people who can serve as a buffer zone against temptation.

    7. Some may ask:“Isn’t sex okay if we love each
other, particularly if we are planning to get married anyway?” The Scriptures
and arguments in the preceding section still apply. Mary’s purity during her
engagement to Joseph qualified her for great blessing from God. God will also
bless all young men and women who remain virgins until marriage.

    8. Scripture places a high value on being a
“One-Woman Man” and a “One-Man-Woman” (1 Tim. 3:2; 5:9). This doesn’t forbid
breaking an engagement if it becomes clear that it is not God’s will for the
two to marry. But it does suggest that it is not God’s purpose for His children
to be flitting from one date to another or one relationship to another.

    9. Follow the example of Abraham and his servant
who counted upon “the LORD God of heaven” to provide just the right wife for
Isaac. Pray much and experience the blessed result, “I being in the way, the
LORD led me” (Gen. 24:27). Girls, don’t try to attract a potential husband by
your beauty (or attempts to be beautiful or sexy); fellows, don’t try to
attract a potential wife by your handsome looks, muscular build, or athletic ability.
If you marry someone who is only attracted by your youthful good looks, what is
your mate going to do when your beauty fades, the wrinkles appear, the muscles
lose their tone, and the fat begins to build around the middle?

    10. Take advantage of school lunch hours,
athletic events, Bible conferences, Christian youth groups, retreats, and other
large group events to get to know and be known by different young people. Be
diligent in your school studies; be diligent in carrying out your household
duties and responsibilities (remember the three R’s—Rebekah, Rachel and Ruth);
be conscientious, honest, dependable, and responsible in your employment (Rom.
12:11); be respectful to your parents (Eph. 6:2); dress modestly (fellows too!)
so that those of the opposite sex will not be overly attracted to your body (1
Tim. 2:9; 1 Pet. 3:3,4); exhibit the nine_fold fruit of the Spirit (Gal.
5:22,23); be faithful in speaking of your Lord and Saviour (2 Tim. 4:5) in your
conversations with other young people. You may not attract Handsome Hunks and
Homecoming Queens this way, but you might attract the attention of a
serious-minded, dedicated Christian who is God’s choice for a life_partner for
you.

      11. Introduce
your friends to your parents and give them an opportunity to get to know your
friends. Ask for your parents’ approval and advice before pursuing any
relationship with one of the opposite sex (Prov. 6:20_24; 13:1; 30:17).