"Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ" (Gal. 6:2).

There are difficulties, trials, sorrows, infirmities, and circumstances of the most variedly painful nature that press upon the children of God. If we wish to show our value for the saints, let us stoop down and take up that which our brother groans under. The Ten Commandments may not demand it, but in so doing we will fulfill the law of Christ. This is the law for us Christians. It is not a question of the law of Moses for that is the measure with which God deals with the natural man. Here He is dealing with those who are living in the Spirit.

What, then, is this "law of Christ"? Perhaps it could be defined as that inner motivation that led the Lord Jesus always to do His Father’s will. Christ was always occupied about others. He never did, in one act of His life, His own will. His existence here below was characterized by being always obedient and truthful in love.

The law of Christ directs those who live in the Spirit and walk in the Spirit. It motivates us to interest our souls about saints in need and distress. Even if there is that in our brother which is positively evil, it will cast us upon God to bring out something from Christ suited to lift up the soul that has slipped into the mire. If we want to know the law of Christ and the will of God, we need only study how Christ lived and behaved and interacted with men and women when He was here on earth. He came into a world full of evil and opposition to God, full of pride and vanity, and what did He do? He "went about doing good and healing all that were oppressed of the devil" (Acts 10:38). Though we may not be able to work miracles, yet in all that is in spirit like Christ, the moral principle of the life of Christ here below is precisely that which every believer has. If you have Christ at all, you have Christ not only for atonement, but as your life. He that believes on the Son has everlasting life, and the everlasting life is Christ. By being born into the world from Adam 1 have got an old natural life that loves evil, and which, as it grows in strength, grows in capacity for self-will. Even so, if I believe in Christ, there is this new life produced which is developed in proportion as Christ is fed upon and looked to, and as Christ’s words and ways are pondered over by the soul.

"Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ." This is what Christ did when He was here below. He did not please Himself. He never chose the path of ease, but, on the contrary, every case of wretchedness and sin and sorrow was what occupied the Lord Jesus according to the will of God. When He took His place as man on earth, there was the continual exercise of communion between the Lord Jesus and His Father, the spirit of dependence upon the living God that never acted without His Father’s direction. And so it should be with our souls. If we are thus laying ourselves out to bear one another’s burdens, we need to wait upon God about it to know what the will of the Lord is. And in doing so we fulfill "the law of Christ."

(From Notes on the Epistle to the Galatians.)

The first sixteen verses of Matthew 20 should have been included in chapter 19, for the Lord Jesus gave this parable as a response to the events of Matt. 19:16-30. The Lord Jesus told the rich young man to give all his wealth to the poor and to follow Him and he would have treasure in heaven. The young man refused, but Peter asked, " We have forsaken all and followed Thee; what shall we have therefore?" This parable is given as part of the answer to Peter’s question.

The parable seems to say that Peter’s question is not a proper one. God is righteous and will distribute rewards as He sees fit. Only God can rightly judge the value of a person’s work. We should not attempt to judge the value of anyone else’s work and cannot rightly judge even our own. We know there will be no complaining in heaven before the judgment seat of Christ, but is there any complaining (audible or inaudible) among us here on earth? Do we wonder why a certain Christian has this or that and we don’t, when obviously we are more devoted to Christ? Do we want more recognition? "The last shall be first and the first last" (Matt. 20:16).

It would be spiritually healthy to remind ourselves frequently that it is lawful for God to do what He wishes with what is His own (verse 15). God is not only righteous, He is sovereign (He is in charge) and we can and must leave to Him the distribution of rewards, earthly and heavenly. Since no one has anything, spiritual or material, except by His grace, complaining is entirely out of order. Quite possibly, as God sees things, we are the workers who have worked only one hour and are getting far better than we deserve. Let us remember Christ’s words to His disciples which sum up another parable:"So likewise ye, when ye shall have done all those things which are commanded you, say, We are unprofitable servants; we have done that which was our duty to do" (Luke 17:10).

In the last issue you were asked the question, "Are you reaching or preaching?" Along with the question, you were issued a challenge to reach out to the needy. Now let us spend some time talking about the how and why of a practical outreach.

There is a verse that speaks more eloquently than anything I can say about reaching out to the needy:"As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith" (Gal. 6:10). As you consider doing good to all men_Christian and non-Christian_remember that people have physical and emotional needs, as well as spiritual. If you are truly going to reach out personally and touch people’s lives, you need to do more than just recite to them the "truth" that you know they need. The tax collectors and other sinners in Jesus’ day had no lack of people telling them how bad they were and preaching to them the cure prescribed by the religious doctors of the day. There was something lacking, though_the medicine was not meeting the needs of the people.

There is no question that God’s medicine is effective, but we must be effective in administering it. You can’t cure heart disease by rubbing liniment on the patient’s chest. To relieve some of the suffering that is so common in this world, you will have to be involved with the people who are suffering. Don’t expect to change the whole world, or make the world a better place in which to live. That will never happen. Bring your doing good down to the person-to-person level. Instead of quickly passing by on the other side, reach out to that person in trouble and help him out of the ditch.

Before you launch out into reaching, though, there is one thing that you have to get straight. What are your objectives in reaching out? Your goal is certainly to help people, but you need to be more specific than that. Charitable organizations can help people with physical needs, and psychologists can help with emotional needs. But only Christ and His body, the Church, are able to help people with all three types of needs – physical, emotional, and spiritual. Simply stated, I think that the goal of a Christian outreach must be:

… to become more like Christ.

There are many phrases that fit on the front of that goal. Here are three that I suggest are appropriate:

For you … to become more like Christ.

For me … to become more like Christ.

For each of us … to become more like Christ. That goal covers it all. Whether the need is physical, emotional, or spiritual. Whether the person is saved or unsaved. Whoever you are, whatever you are, or wherever you are

. . .TO BECOME MORE LIKE CHRIST. Write it on a piece of paper, burn it into your mind, engrave it on your heart; then go and do the following:(1) meet people’s needs, and (2) do what you can.

Meet People’s Needs

When you meet people’s needs you are tilling the ground to prepare it for God’s seed. The more you soften up the ground, the greater the probability that the seed will fall on good ground. Often we just want to hurry up and get the seed planted. We go around willy-nilly throwing seed, never considering that it might be better if we did some plowing first. If, by chance, some of the seed does take root, then we try to make the plants grow faster by yanking on the tender shoots.

Tilling the ground means that the first need you may have to meet is not the need you see as most important, but the need that they feel most acutely. Remember that people really have three-dimensional needs:physical, emotional, and spiritual. Approach these needs in the same way you peel an onion. Start with the outside layer, the need they feel the most, and work your way in to the innermost need. After these outer layers have been taken care of, you may find an opportunity to give them something even more precious and valuable_something for the spirit.

Let us take a minute now to consider the three aspects of need_physical, emotional, and spiritual. These needs correspond to the three components that make up every living person_body, soul, and spirit. Each of us has needs in these three areas, and each of us is subject to problems in all three.

Body. Our body, of course, is that part of us which interacts with the world around us. The body sees, hears, feels, tastes, and smells. The needs of the body are simple_food, water, air, light, warmth, and good health. Ministering to a person’s physical needs may not appear to be directly related to helping someone become more like Jesus Christ. Does it seem that way to you? Tell me, then, how many children have been saved after they starved to death? Also, why did Jesus spend so much time restoring sight to the blind, healing the lame, curing the sick, feeding the multitudes? If you would become more like Jesus Christ, how is it that physical needs deserve less of your attention than He gave them?

Soul. The soul is the seat of our emotions. Our thoughts, our feelings, and our intellect emanate from the soul. Our soul is also our internal "computer" where logic is applied, reasoning is done, and decisions are made. We all know from experience that it is not enough just to have our physical needs met. Man is a personal being, and he has emotional needs that must be met if he is to function properly as a person. How can anyone become more like Jesus Christ when he is feeling depressed, discouraged, or rejected? Jesus did not stop at just meeting people’s physical needs. He ministered to their emotional needs as well. In John 11 we find Him weeping over the death of Lazarus. In several places in the Gospels we read how the tax gatherers and sinners found no help from the Pharisees, but in Jesus they found a friend who accepted them in spite of what they were. Many other examples of Jesus’ compassion for people and their emotional needs can be found in any of the Gospels. If you would become more like Jesus Christ, do people’s emotional needs deserve less of your attention than He gave them?

Spirit. When man was created, God placed in him a spirit that made him unique and gave him the image of God. It is our spirit that communicates with God and relates to Him. Our spirit controls our conscience, insight, sensitivity, and creativity. From our spirit flows our comprehension of God, and our motivation to follow and serve Him. It is in the area of spiritual needs where the Christian alone can help. Charitable organizations may help meet physical needs, psychiatrists can address emotional needs, but only God can heal the spirit.

Those who are lost in their sins have a spirit which is dead and only spiritual rebirth can make them a whole person. An unsaved person cannot become like Jesus Christ until her or his spirit is brought back to life. Only the Lord Jesus Christ can revive the dead, but you can help bring that person to Christ. This has to be your ultimate objective when you reach out to the unsaved.
Don’t forget the Christian, either. Those of us who are saved have spiritual needs, too. We all go through low points in our spiritual life where help is needed. Don’t assume that your Christian friend or acquaintance has the spiritual "muscle" to get through the tough times. Just because a person is a Christian doesn’t mean that she or he does not need help with spiritual problems. If you would become more like Jesus Christ and help your sister or brother to do the same, is there any need that is unworthy of your help?

Body, soul, and spirit. Although they are separate entities, they interrelate and interact in such a way that they practically cannot be separated. Therefore, when you set out to help others to become more like Jesus Christ, you cannot neglect any aspect of potential need. The question that you need to ask yourself is:How do the needy see their problems? What are their first priorities when it comes to resolving problems? Perhaps their physical or emotional problems are shouting so loud that they cannot hear you preaching to them about their spiritual needs. Whether they are saved or unsaved, you have to work your way down through the layers of need to reach the root problem. Only after the outer layers are peeled away can the innermost ills be treated.

For example, your unsaved acquaintance probably has heard it all before_how she/he is a sinner and needs a Saviour. But what she/he really needs right now is something to eat, a place to sleep, a friend to talk to, help with the kids, or a word of comfort. If you meet that immediate need, perhaps little by little, as the pressure is relieved, as the hurt is eased, priorities may change and new needs_spiritual needs_may be felt. Her/his interest in what you have to give materially or emotionally may shift to what you have spiritually. Now the ground is ready for planting the good seed.

Your Christian friend already has a Saviour, but that does not mean there is no need. Is her or his physical need undeserving of your attention? James didn’t think so when he wrote his Epistle. Are Christians exempt from emotional problems? No way! Financial problems, family problems, marital problems, school problems, work problems, health problems, depression, anxiety, fear, and loneliness are no respecter of persons. One or more of these difficulties has visited each one of us. Did you get as much help and support from your fellow Christians as you needed or wanted? Are you giving as much help as you can to people who are suffering with these problems?

Do What You Can

"I’m not ready to serve," I hear someone say. "God hasn’t revealed His will for my life yet."

"As soon as God shows me the needs He wants me to meet, I’m ready to do what I can," another is saying. "Right now I don’t know anybody who is really needy."

"But I’m not sure of my gift," pleads a third. "I certainly don’t want to take things into my own hands. That would be doing things in the power of the flesh and that is no good."

If you have said or felt anything like this, you can be sure that it was the voice of Satan giving you a convenient excuse. There is no gift (except the gift of eternal life) required to reach out to people. This is something that we are all called to do. You have been left in this world to continue the work of service that Jesus began. He has done the hard work_the work that only He could do_by dying on the cross to meet the demands of a just God. He has left the easy work for you. And He has demonstrated how it should be done. What could be easier?

Do what you can. Are you waiting for guidance? If you are, let me ask you if you’ve ever tried to steer a car that was standing still. Turn the steering wheel all you want and the car doesn’t even begin to change directions. Are you like the stationary car, rooted to the spot by indecision or apathy? Then start your engine, step on the gas, and start moving. Don’t expect God to do that part for you. He won’t force you to act any more than He forced you to accept the free gift of salvation. He wants willing servants, not obedient robots. If you don’t know how to get started, keep reading. A little later we will be discussing some ways that you can overcome the inertia of inactivity.

Do what you can. Each of us is a unique individual, with unique abilities. God has given you a gift and He has given you a role to fulfill in His Church. Not everyone can be a pastor, but you can be a friend. Not everyone can give great speeches, but you can listen to someone’s problems. Not everyone can teach the deep principles of Scripture, but you can give a word of encouragement. Not everyone is called to serve the Lord in the mission field, but you are called to do the Lord’s work.

Do what you can. There is no substitute for personal involvement. Giving your money is nice, it’s necessary, but it’s not sufficient. You must give of yourself. Don’t send someone else to do the work that God has sent you to do. Do you know someone who needs help or counsel? Then go to them and help them. Don’t send money or a message through an intermediary. Worse yet, don’t give them help or counsel in the form of whispers behind their back! Sure, if you get personally involved you may feel the sting of personal rejection, but no one said that serving the Lord was going to be easy.

Do what you can. If you haven’t been doing too much reaching out to others, you may not know where or how to start. Begin by doing what you can. There is no minimum education, experience, or financial requirements. You don’t need to know a certain amount of Scripture, be experienced in Christian outreach, or have money to donate to the needy. All you need is a willingness to do what you can. It may not be much, but even the little things count_sometimes more than the big things. When all of the little things are piled one on top of the other, they add up to a mountain of help. Be a friend, call on the phone, write a note, tell them you are thinking about them. Do the little things and the big things will take care of themselves.

In the next issue we shall conclude this series on "Reaching or Preaching?" by looking at some specific, practical ways that you can touch the lives of others. You may be surprised to see how personally the Lord Jesus takes the subject of helping the needy. In addition, we shall talk about some of the unpleasant side effects that your outreach may have and how you must be prepared for the consequences.

In connection with the commandment, "Thou shall not commit adultery," we have considered in previous issues the testimony of the Scriptures against both premarital and extramarital sexual activity, divorce and remarriage, committing adultery in the heart, and homosexual sin. I believe that God would not have us dwell only on the negative side of His commandments. There are many Christians who, by the grace of God, may have avoided fornication and adultery and divorce in their lifetimes, who have faithfully stuck with their spouses, but whose marriages are hardly more than a cross to be borne, or a steady succession of conflicts. We as Christians, as under grace and not under the law, should seek the grace of God and the power of the indwelling Spirit to help us rise far above the prohibitions of the Ten Commandments and attain truly happy, mutually fulfilling, spiritually edifying marriages. The exhortation, "Rejoice with the wife of thy youth … let her breasts satisfy thee at all times, and be thou ravished always with her love" (Prov. 5:18,19), applies, I believe, to those married 25 or 50 years as much as to those married one or two years and no doubt is not to be limited to the physical relationship but applied to the emotional and spiritual relationships as well. Let us, then, consider some pointers from Scripture on achieving and maintaining a happy marriage.

Submission and Love

Two key bases for a happy marriage_submission and love_are presented in Ephesians 5:"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the Head of the Church; and He is the Saviour of the body. Therefore as the Church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the Church, and gave Himself for it. … So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the Church" (Eph. 5:22-29).

First, the wife is to submit herself to her husband, as the Church is subject unto Christ. What does this entail? Let us note first that the One to whom the Church is to be subject is all-knowing, all-wise, righteous, good, and loving. His commandments and actions and decisions are not grievous but for the blessing of the Church. So it is in the best interests of the Church to listen carefully to all that Christ enjoins and to obey implicitly and unquestioningly. Likewise the wife is to submit to her husband. But the problem arises that the husband is not all-knowing and all-wise; and rather than being good and loving he may act out of selfish interests. Is the wife to suppress all her own thoughts, knowledge, and wisdom, and quietly, submissively leave all decisions, large and small, to her husband? In Gen. 2:18 we read that "the Lord God said, it is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him [that is, a helper suited to him]." Thus, since the husband, unlike Christ, is not all-knowing, all-wise, and completely unselfish, he should value the help and input of his wife in the decision-making process. If she feels that a decision he has made or is about to make is contrary to God’s mind, or may be harmful to the family or to others, or is in any other way unwise, she should be free_as his helpmate_to communicate in a loving way her disagreement and her suggestions for a more appropriate course of action. Such communication is for the good of all and should be encouraged by the husband.

For those areas in which the wife’s expertise and experience far exceed the husband’s, he may be willing to delegate completely the decision making to her. However, he must realize that God has delegated to him the ultimate authority and responsibility for the running of the household; thus he must be prepared at least to share in the responsibility for any unwise decisions made by his wife.

On the husband’s part, there is to be no lording over his wife just because she is to be submissive to him. She is not his slave to do his bidding nor his property to do with as he pleases. The word to husbands is "love your wives." And this is a love far deeper and more inclusive than romantic love, or the love that is associated with physical intimacy. Husbands are to love their wives "even as Christ also loved the Church, and gave Himself for it." This is agape love, that self-sacrificing love that seeks the benefit and blessing of others even if it costs self something. So the decisions made by the husband, if he is filled with love for his wife and family, will be designed to please his wife; thus he will seek to have her share in the decision making.

With all this, there yet may be matters on which the couple continues to disagree, even after patiently discussing each other’s viewpoints and even after praying together about the matter. In such a case, it must be recognized that God has ordered that final authority rest with the husband and that the wife is to submit to his decision. If it is a decision which the wife feels could lead to adverse consequences for the family (for example, purchase of a luxury item beyond the family’s financial means), the wife might still pray that the Lord will deal directly with her husband to prevent or undo the decision or action; she should also pray for patience and seek the Lord’s help to do whatever she can to minimize the possible adverse consequences of the decision upon the family.

If any of our female readers resent the fact that God has granted to the husbands the final authority for running the household, please realize that at all levels of society there is a need for a chain of command, an ultimate authority. Otherwise, there would be anarchy. Thus, God has given parents to be over the children, governors over the citizens of the state, etc. The "powers that be" are ministers of God for good (Rom. 13:1-4). All the more should the Christian husband be a minister of God for the good and blessing of his wife and children. The Christian husband has a very responsible position which requires much prayer and submission to God to fill properly. In fact, his very position of leadership is given for the purpose of serving his wife and family, as Christ said, "Let the leader [be] as he that serves" (Luke 22:26 JND).

In summary, when the husband and wife can learn to communicate their feelings and desires to each other in a friendly and loving atmosphere, make decisions jointly which are motivated by the desire for the welfare of each other and the family, and follow the scriptural order of wives being submissive to their husbands if agreement cannot be reached, there will be a strong basis for a truly happy marriage.

Praying and Reading Together
It is very worthwhile for husband and wife to set aside a period of time each day, in addition to personal "quiet time" or devotions, for reading the Bible and Biblical commentaries together and for praying together. If there is time for only one of these activities, they might be alternated_reading together one day and praying together the next. By praying together I do not mean that the husband should pray and the wife listen, but that both should share in the praying. In the process of praying together we find ourselves taking an active interest in that which interests and concerns our mate. Of particular importance is joining together in united prayer (see Matt. 18:19) for our children and for wisdom in bringing them up for the Lord. Few, perhaps, realize the powerful bond of intimacy that praying together will produce in a marriage. If we are sincere and humble in our praying, God will not allow us to pretend to be something we are not in His presence. Nor will He allow one to speak to Him in sincerity about other concerns if there are problems with the marriage relationship. This openness before God will lead to openness before our spouse as we pray together. We will not be able to pray together if there are resentments between us. As we continue to pray together over a period of time we will become more profoundly united than we could ever become by mere physical union. Praying together regularly is such a powerful force for oneness that at least one writer on the subject has suggested that it is too intimate even for engaged couples and should be reserved for marriage.

Communication

Another has written the following advice to those contemplating marriage:"Since a successful marriage depends on constant communication, the engaged couple must talk, talk, talk." This communication is so very important throughout marriage. In Scripture we read, "Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep" (Rom. 12:15). But to do this there must be the communication to one another of our joys and successes, as well as our depressions, anxieties, and failures.

Often it may be particularly difficult for the husband to share with his wife his feelings of depression or fear or failure. He rather prefers to regard himself as emotionally independent and able to work out his own problems by himself. However, an understanding wife can be an immense help to the husband in such matters (this is one aspect of the wife being a "helpmate," Gen. 2:18 JND). At the very least they can pray together and unitedly seek the Lord’s help in the matter. And the sharing in this way will have the effect of drawing the two closer together emotionally and spiritually. Real communication in marriage is the ability to share one’s innermost feelings with one’s partner. For this to be effective there must be a foundation of mutual love, trust, patience, forgiveness, and understanding.

Something for young husbands and fathers to consider is the fact that often while they are at work associating with other adults all day long, their wives may be spending most of their days with only small children for company. So the husband_weary as he may be_should try to put his wife’s need for adult-level communication above his natural and selfish desire to relax in his favorite easy chair with the newspaper or television when he gets home from work.

A particularly difficult area of communication involves things that the husband and wife find in each other that they do not like. Marriage involves a very major adjustment in the lives of two persons who often have quite different personalities, likes and dislikes, collections of friends and relatives, etc. To take an oft-used example, a matter so trivial as how one squeezes the tube of toothpaste can be a source of friction in a marriage. It may be how she irons his shirts or how he keeps his den. Or it may be certain words or expressions one uses, stories or jokes one tells, or other habits or manners that may irritate the spouse. If there is no sin or compromise of Christian testimony involved, the spouse may choose to adapt himself/herself to the other’s behavior and seek to learn, with the aid of the Holy Spirit, to accept and overlook it. But if the disagreeable behavior continually produces irritation, or if it is sinful, then one should seek lovingly, patiently, and meekly (Gal. 6:1) to express to the other the nature of the concern. Here there is a great need to speak the truth in love (Eph. 4:15) and to have the love of God shed abroad in our hearts (Rom. 5:5). The one with the disagreeable habit correspondingly should seek to accept the criticism without anger, irritation, defensiveness, or retaliation. Ideally, the two should be able to pray together about the matter. Some couples have found it helpful occasionally to write down and share lists of things they like and dislike about each other. This, of course, should only be done by mutual consent, and obviously the emphasis should be on trying to list as many positive, likeable traits as possible.

Confession and Forgiveness

This topic is, in many ways, an extension of the previous paragraph. In moments of weakness, impatience, tiredness, and being out of communion with our heavenly Father, we say or do things which are unwise, or sinful, or offensive to other persons. Very often the "other person" is our spouse. And all too frequently, since it is our spouse, we take a lax attitude about the matter, or perhaps even become defensive about our offense. Instead of being sorry for the word or deed which hurt our spouse, we become irritated that the other cannot just overlook and not take seriously those careless things we say and do. This may lead to angry exchanges and continuing conflict. Or what may often be worse, one of the spouses retaliates by giving the other the "silent treatment."

What is so sorely needed in such instances is confession_that is, the acknowledgment of sin or careless behavior on the part of the offender. (Often both spouses will be the offenders by the time it is over.) Let it be noted that statements such as, "I am sorry if I did anything to offend you," do not constitute real confessions. Rather they place the blame on the other person for having so sensitive a constitution as to be easily offended. Next to "I love you," perhaps the most important words to be communicated by one marriage partner to another are, "Honey, I was wrong; will you forgive me?" Confession to God of our sins is incomplete if it does not also include confession to those particular persons against whom we have sinned (Matt. 5:23,24; Jas. 5:16; Prov. 28:13).

On the other side, let there always be a spirit of forgiveness toward our spouses as toward all men. We need not wait for confession to do this. "The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; and it is his glory to pass over a transgression" (Prov. 19:11). Just think of all that God has forgiven in us; the vast majority of our sins we have never even been aware of. In the light of this, how can we withhold our forgiveness of others? (Matt. 6:12,14,15; 18:21-35; Luke 17:3,4; Eph. 4:32; Col. 3:13).
Finally, in connection with forgiveness, there is an important principle stated in 1 Cor. 13:5:"[Love] thinketh no evil." Literally this means that love does not keep accounts or records of the evil done against it. So the message to husbands and wives is not to hold grudges against each other, or bring up again past offenses which have already been confessed and forgiven.

Management of Finances

It is wise for the husband and wife periodically to plan together a budget based on total resources and anticipated income which allots a set amount for food, clothing, household expenses, automotive expenses, utilities, etc., and also allows for some saving for larger purchases and for emergencies. They should pray together for wisdom and guidance from the Lord as to spending, saving, and specific purchases.

A snare which newly married couples often fall into, and which sometimes ends up destroying the marriage, is to covet too high a standard of living from the outset. There is a tendency with young people to want to begin their own homes at the same standard presently enjoyed by their parents, forgetting that in most instances their parents started out quite simply and lived within their means. In attempting to attain this standard the couple quickly finds themselves deep in debt with a large portion of the weekly paychecks going to make payments to creditors. In order to meet expenses, the husband begins volunteering for overtime duty or takes a second job, and the wife gets a job_or maybe two_as well. As a result, the husband and wife hardly see each other any more; if they should have children, these soon get shunted off to a day-care center; the marriage relationship becomes strained, often to the breaking point; and the higher standard of living sought after, and perhaps attained, is enjoyed by neither spouse.

Listen to what Scripture has to say in this regard:"Godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. And having food and raiment let us be therewith content" (1 Tim. 6:6-8). "Be content with such things as ye have" (Heb. 13:5). "Owe no man anything, but to love one another" (Rom. 13:8). "The borrower is servant to the lender" (Prov. 22:7).

In conclusion, let us heed the apostle Paul’s exhortation to pray "always . . . with all perseverance and supplication for all saints" (Eph. 6:18). Let us not forget to consider the many married couples among the saints, praying that they might enjoy a truly happy marriage. Let us not wait until a marriage is on the rocks before we begin praying for the couple. And if the Lord makes us aware of a possible trouble spot in the marriage of a particular couple, let us be faithful to seek wisdom from the Lord to be able to help that couple. Perhaps if there were more "preventive medicine" being practiced, there would be fewer sick and dying marriages and more truly happy ones today.

FRAGMENT "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands . . . husbands, love your wives" (Eph. 5:22-29). Note that the apostle does not say, "Wives, demand of your husbands that they love you," nor, "Husbands, demand submission from your wives." No, for this at once would be the opposite of the grace under which we are, which never claims, but gives, and finally gets its claims by ever giving. Let, then, "every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband" (Eph. 5:33). In so doing, we cannot fail to enjoy all the blessings which marriage can give, even in the midst of a ruined creation. God will be with us, and where God is there is the best of everything. Trials and difficulties there will be, but where God is, there is the spirit of love, unity, forgiveness, and tenderness. A sweet life of companionship is thus vouchsafed to us while we pass through a world so full of misery.