Sarah wanted a son. A woman was considered not to have fulfilled her purpose in life if she had
not borne her husband a son. Sarah’s biological clock had stopped, so she asked Abraham to take
her slave woman, Hagar, as his concubine. Hagar was Sarah’s property and Hagar’s children
would be considered Sarah’s as well. There was trouble in the household as soon as Abraham
complied with Sarah’s request (Gen. 16:1-6). Finally, Sarah had Abraham dismiss Hagar and
Ishmael from the household (Gen. 21:9-11). While this may have provided temporary peace,
anyone who pays attention to the news media knows that Sarah’s suggestion is still having
repercussions and her descendants and Hagar’s are still engaging in sibling rivalry.

Sarah made a bad decision and tried to fix it by ejecting Hagar and Ishmael from her life, but her
decision is still causing trouble thousands of years later. Some of God’s people have made bad
decisions which have resulted in domestic strife. Perhaps a Christian has married an unbeliever.
Later the Christian may want to draw closer to the Lord and is dismayed to find that his or her
spouse has no such interest and, indeed, seems determined to behave like the unregenerate person
he or she was all along.

Perhaps the Christian secretly hopes the non-Christian spouse will seek a divorce and then
(according to some interpretations of 1 Cor. 7:15) he/she will be free to remarry or at least will
be left in peace and will not have to deal with the non-Christian on a daily and intimate basis. But
will divorce solve the problem? No, by the very nature of God’s design of marriage, the two
divorced persons will always be a part of each other. If there are children, both of their biological
parents will always be a part of and an influence on them mentally and physically. Even secular
writers are beginning to admit that divorce adversely affects children, often for years afterward.
If the non-Christian was behaving badly before the divorce, he or she probably will behave worse
afterwards. One of my co-workers divorced his first wife at least ten years ago and has since
remarried; but he and his first wife (who has also remarried) still periodically battle in the courts
over issues relating to the care of their daughter, now 15. The daughter can hardly find this a
pleasant situation. Sarah’s eviction of Hagar did not provide long-term peace, and divorce will not
provide peace for a Christian spouse.

Is there any hope? Suppose for some reason a believer married an unbeliever or both were
unbelievers at the time of the marriage and now one is a believer. How should the believing spouse
deal with the tensions this unequal yoke will cause in the marriage? The Apostle Peter used a
different aspect of Sarah’s behavior as a good example for women in such marriages.

"Likewise, wives, be in subjection to your own husbands, that if any obey not the Word, they also
may with the word be won by the conversation [or behavior] of the wives, while they behold your
chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of
plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; but let it be the hidden man
of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which
is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also,
who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:even as
Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord; whose daughters you are, as long as you do well, and

are not afraid with any amazement" (1 Pet. 3:1-6). In verse 1, the first "the Word," since it has
the definite article in the Greek, is referring to a specific Word_the Scriptures. The second "the
word" does not have a definite article and could perhaps be translated "a word" or "any word."
No one is brought to Christ totally apart from the Word (1 Pet. 1:23), but unbelieving husbands
can certainly be brought to Christ without preaching, exhorting, or verbal persuasion from their
wives. Peter is saying that if you have an unsaved spouse it is more important to live the gospel
than to tell the gospel.

Although this passage is addressed to women (Christian wives with unsaved husbands seem to
outnumber Christian men with unsaved wives), similar principles would apply to men. What a
testimony to an unsaved wife would be the totally Christ-like, self-sacrificing love of her Christian
husband (Eph. 5:25-29). Perhaps the verse, "And be not bitter against them" (Col. 3:19), might
have special meaning for Christian men married to unsaved wives. At any rate, living out the
gospel daily is far more effective in winning loved ones to Christ than daily preaching or verbal
confrontations. Practical Christian living will also help to bring peace to your home. "When a
man’s ways please the LORD, he makes even his enemies to be at peace with him" (Prov. 16:7).
Some of Sarah’s behavior we should emulate; some we should not. Let us ask God for help in
winning our loved ones to Christ and bringing real peace to our homes.