“Were there not
ten cleansed? But where are the nine?” (Luke 17:17). The Lord Jesus healed ten lepers
but only one returned to thank Him, and that one was a despised Samaritan.

            One of the
valuable experiences for us in life is to encounter ingratitude, for then we
can share in a small degree the heartbreak of God. When we give generously and
do not receive so much as an acknowledgment, we have a greater appreciation of
Him who gave His beloved Son for a thankless world. When we pour out ourselves
in tireless service for others, we join the fellowship of the One who took the
place of a slave for a race of ingrates.

            Unthankfulness is
one of the unlovely traits of fallen man. Paul reminds us that when the pagan
world “knew God, they glorified Him not as God, neither were thankful” (Rom.
1:21).

            A missionary to Brazil discovered two tribes who had no words for "Thank you." If a kindness was
shown to them, they would say "That is what I wanted" or "That
will be useful to me." Another missionary, working in North Africa, found
that those to whom he ministered never expressed gratitude because they were
giving him the opportunity of earning merit with God. It was the missionary who
should be grateful, they felt, because he was acquiring favor through the
kindness he showed them.

            Ingratitude
permeates all of society. A radio program called “Job Center of the Air”
succeeded in finding jobs for 2500 people. The emcee later reported that only
ten ever took time to thank him.

            A dedicated
school teacher had poured her life into 50 classes of students. When she was
80, she received a letter from one of her former students, telling how much he
appreciated her help. She had taught for 50 years and this was the only letter
of appreciation she had ever received.

            We said that it
is good for us to experience ingratitude because it gives us a pale reflection
of what the Lord experiences all the time. Another reason why it is a valuable
experience is that it impresses on us the importance of being thankful
ourselves. Too often our requests to God outweigh our thanksgiving. We take His
blessings too much for granted. And too often we fail to express our
appreciation to one another for hospitality, for instruction, for
transportation, for provision, for numberless deeds of kindness. We actually
come to expect these favors almost as if we deserved them.

            The study of the
ten lepers should be a constant reminder to us that while many have great cause
for thanksgiving, few have the heart to acknowledge it. Shall we be among the
few?

            (From One Day
At a Time, Gospel Folio Press, Grand Rapids, Michigan, copyright 1998 by
William MacDonald; used by permission.)

 

            “Giving thanks
always for all things onto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus
Christ” (Eph. 5:20).

            It is easy to
give thanks for the pleasing things. He would be ungrateful indeed, who, after
having brought his petition to the Lord for some good thing and having had it
abundantly answered, failed in the grace of gratitude and did not bow in
thanksgiving before God. But to give thanks when everything seems to go awry;
when bereavement and sorrow come into the life; when misunderstanding and false
reports cause poignant anguish; when disappointments and perplexities seem to
crush the heart and trouble the mind so that one hardly knows even how to pray;
then, indeed, it is only the manifold grace of God controlling the inmost being
that enables one to give thanks. And yet if we realize that we are but pupils
in God’s school where He is preparing us for service in the ages to
come—service that will be beyond our highest expectations, we may well praise
Him even in the midst of deepest trial. We are keeping our knightly vigil amid
the darkness and the cold, preparatory to being honored by the King of kings in
the coming day. We may rest assured that He will not permit one trial too many
or one sorrow too great.

            We are told in
the book of Proverbs that “the refining pot is for silver and the furnace for
gold, but the Lord tries the hearts” (Prov. 17:3). And, blessed be His name, He
sits by the refining pot and watches intently until He sees His own countenance
reflected in the molten silver. He walks in the midst of the fire with His own;
and the furnace, though heated seven-fold, can but burn away the bonds, or, to
change the figure, purge the dross from the gold. With that glorious Fourth One
with them, the Hebrew children did not even have the smell of fire upon their
garments.

            The trusting soul
may well rest upon the promise:“When you pass through the waters, I will be
with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow you:when you walk
through the fire, you shall not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon
you” (Isa. 43:2).

            Our blessed Lord
Himself is our great Example in this as in all else. He could and did give
thanks in the hour of deepest trial. In Matthew 11 and Luke 10 we see Him
rejected of men, grieving over the cities in which His mightiest works had been
accomplished and which had yet refused His message. With the dark shadows of
the cross already falling across His path we read, “At that time”—when all was
darkest and He had unutterable anguish to look forward to—“Jesus rejoiced in
spirit and said, Father, I thank Thee” (Luke 10:21). Oh, for grace to imitate
Him in this attitude, not only of subjection to the will of God but in
receiving the heaviest trials from the Father’s hand, knowing that all is for
eventual blessing.

            “Whether joy
or whether trial,

            All can only
work for good.”

            We may rest
assured that no trial will ever come to one of His own for which He did not see
a needs-be. And,

            “When we stand
with Christ in glory,

            Looking o’er
life’s finished story,”

we will understand as we
cannot now, and we shall praise Him then as we will wish we had praised Him in
the midst of the fire.

            (From Help and
Food, Vol. 46.)

Best gift of all Thou hast

            bestowed,

The precious, priceless blood
that

            flowed

When Jesus bore our sins’
great

            load—

For this we thank Thee!

 

And then that wondrous love
of

            thine

Which made us heirs of wealth

            divine,

And us to Thee as sons did
join—

For this we thank Thee!

 

For sweetest fellowship on
earth

With other sons of heavenly
birth,

In greater joy than this
world’s

            mirth—

For this we thank Thee!

 

For patient grace that guides
our

            way,

While pilgrims in this world
we

            stay,

In fire by night, in cloud by
day—

For this we thank Thee!

 

For sickness, sadness, pain
and

            loss,

For fellowship with Jesus’
cross

That turns this world’s gold
into

            dross—

For this we thank Thee!

 

For loving faithfulness and
grace

That cast us down upon our
face,

And make the flesh take its
own

            place—

For this we thank Thee!

 

In all our joy and all our
grief,

For chastening sore, or sweet

            relief,

For lengthened days, or
waiting

            brief—

For all we thank Thee!

 

For many mansions in thy
home,

Where we one day with Christ
shall

            come,

And never, never from Thee
roam—

For this we thank Thee!

 

And when our time on earth is

            o’er,

When in thy presence we adore,

O then, for all that’s gone

            before,

We e’er shall thank Thee!

 

            “And the LORD God
said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a help meet
for him” (Gen. 2:18).  The expression, “a help meet for him,” means a helper
corresponding to him or suitable to him.

            In what sense was
the woman (Eve) whom God provided for the man (Adam) a helper corresponding to
him? This provision occurred before the need to wash dishes, launder clothes,
or take care of the children. The LORD God had given Adam the tasks of caring
for the garden and making up names for all of the great variety of living
creatures (Gen. 2:15,19). There were animals that were helps to Adam as beasts
of burden and as a means of entertainment. But there was something missing.
Adam had no one to talk to.

            The “help meet”
for Adam served as one with whom Adam could communicate, one with whom he could
be intimate, not just physically, but also intellectually, emotionally, and
spiritually. If there is any truth to the expression, “A dog is man’s best
friend,” it is only because of failure in human relationships. For those of us
who are married, our wife or husband should be our best friend on earth.

Examples of Helpmates

            The following are
examples in the Bible of some women who were helpers meet for their husbands,
along with a couple of examples of women who failed to carry out this God-given
role.

            Michal.
“Michal Saul’s daughter loved David…. Saul also sent messengers unto David’s
house to watch him and to slay him in the morning; and Michal David’s wife told
him, saying, If you save not your life tonight, tomorrow you shall be slain. So
Michal let David down through a window:and he went, and fled, and escaped” (1
Sam. 18:20; 19:11,12).

            Abigail.
When David was about to kill Nabal and all the men with him, Nabal’s wife
Abigail boldly came to David with a gift of food and appealed to him not to
shed blood without just cause. “And David said to Abigail, Blessed be the LORD
God of Israel who sent you this day to meet me; and blessed be your advice, and
blessed be you who has kept me this day from coming to shed blood and from
avenging myself with my own hand” (1 Sam. 25:18-34). Even though Nabal was a “churlish
[or stingy] and evil” man (1 Sam. 25:3), Abigail did all she could to help him
get out of the messes he got himself into. She was truly “a help meet for him,”
even though he did not appreciate it. But David appreciated what he saw in
Abigail, and when the LORD saw fit to smite “Nabal that he died,” David took
Abigail to be his wife (verses 38-42).

            This example
shows how different temperaments between husband and wife can complement each
other. But for it to work, we need to respect each other’s temperament, help
each other to develop the beneficial and positive aspects of it, and to judge
the negative parts of it. The husband and wife need to help each other to grow
in the Word and likeness to Christ, which will result in a greater likeness to
and kinship with each other.

            The Virtuous
Woman of Proverbs 31. Here is Biblical testimony to “a virtuous woman”:
“The heart of her husband safely trusts in her…. She will do him good and not
evil all the days of her life…. Her husband is known in the gates when he
sits among the elders of the land…. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and in
her tongue is the law of kindness. She looks well to the ways of her household,
and eats not the bread of idleness. Her children arise up and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her” (Prov. 31:10-31).

            Priscilla.
“And [Apollos] began to speak boldly in the synagogue, whom when Aquila and Priscilla had heard, they took him unto them, and expounded unto him the way of
God more perfectly” (Acts 18:26). Aquila is never mentioned in the Bible apart
from his wife Priscilla (Acts 18:2,18; Rom. 16:3; 1 Cor. 16:19; 2 Tim. 4:19).
Obviously they worked together as a team in ministering “the way of God” to
Apollos and, no doubt, in all of their ministries.

            Our next door
neighbor came over and asked a theological question. I gave him an answer, and
then my wife offered a supporting answer from a slightly different perspective.
Her comment, in turn, reminded me of yet another way of addressing my
neighbor’s question. We worked together; she was a help to me. I wonder if
every Christian husband realizes the spiritual treasure he has in his Christian
wife. I perceive that in some Christian homes the wife is not at liberty to
discuss her thoughts on Scriptural and spiritual matters with her husband. What
a loss! This is taking the man’s headship and the woman’s submission to an
unwarranted extreme. Notice that the Lord Jesus was willing to discuss (that
is, listen as well as talk) spiritual and doctrinal matters with women (John
4:9-26; 11:21-27).

            Eve. Being
a God-given helpmate to one’s husband is a very responsible position. The first
helpmate, Eve, in fact, failed miserably in her responsibility. She certainly
was not a help to Adam when she ate of the fruit and offered him some as well.
The LORD God had told Adam one thing (not to eat of the tree of the knowledge
of good and evil upon pain of death; Gen. 2:17), Adam had passed this
information on to Eve (Gen. 3:3), and the serpent told Eve just the opposite:
“You shall not surely die” (Gen. 3:4). Whom should Eve believe—her husband or
this serpent? Would it not have been wise for Eve to ask her husband, who had
received the instruction directly from God, about this discrepancy? Think of
the far-reaching consequences upon the whole human race of her failing to do
so!

            It works the
other way as well. It is often wise for a husband to ask his wife what she
thinks of his plans concerning an activity, a change in employment, a purchase,
an investment of money or time, etc. We all have blind spots, hidden lusts,
desires, pride, envy, or distrust, and we often allow our feelings rather than
wise judgment to rule us. Our spouses, if given the opportunity, can help
reveal to us our blind spots.

            Sapphira.
Loyalty to one’s spouse is a wonderful trait, but even this can be carried too
far. Sapphira was loyal to her husband Ananias, but failed terribly in being a
help to him. Ananias had lied to the apostles about how much he had gotten in
the sale of a piece of land. He pretended that he was giving the entire amount
of the sale to the apostles to be distributed to the poor. His wife knew what
he had done, and when asked about it, she told the same lie. The consequence?
Both fell down dead for agreeing together “to tempt the Spirit of the Lord”
(Acts 5:1-10). Why didn’t Sapphira warn her husband that he was doing wrong in
lying about it? My wife certainly would have and so would most of the wives
reading this. But there are some Christian wives who are afraid of their
husbands (even if the husband is a Christian) and would not dare correct or
contradict their husbands about anything. Again, what a loss! what a tragedy
for the whole family! How vital it is for all of us honestly to own and
acknowledge before the Lord and each other our own weaknesses and ask our
spouse (or another family member or close friend if unmarried) to alert us when
they see us getting off track.

Communication

            One of the most
important jobs of the husband’s helpmate is that of facilitating communication.
We husbands are notoriously poor at this and should try to cooperate when our
wives attempt to draw us out. In Scripture we read, “Rejoice with those who
rejoice, and weep with those who weep” (Rom. 12:15). But to do this there must
be the communication to one another of our joys and successes, as well as our
depressions, anxieties, and failures.

            Often it may be
particularly difficult for the husband to share with his wife his feelings of
depression or fear or failure. He rather prefers to regard himself as
emotionally independent and able to work out his own problems by himself.
However, an understanding wife can be an immense help to the husband in such
matters. At the very least they can pray together and unitedly seek the Lord’s
help in the matter. And the sharing in this way will have the effect of drawing
the two closer together emotionally and spiritually. Real communication in
marriage is the ability to share one’s innermost thoughts and feelings with
one’s partner. For this to be effective there must be a foundation of mutual
love, trust, patience, forgiveness, and understanding.

            It is well for a
young husband and father to consider that often while he is at work associating
with other adults all day long, his wife may be spending most of her days with
only her small children for company. So the husband—weary as he may be—should
try to put his wife’s need for adult-level communication above his natural and
selfish desire to relax in his favorite easy chair with the newspaper or
television when he gets home from work. In this way he can be “a help meet for”
his wife.

            A particularly
difficult area of communication involves things that the husband and wife find
in each other that they do not like. Marriage involves a very major adjustment
in the lives of two persons who often have quite different personalities, likes
and dislikes, collections of friends and relatives, etc. To take an oft-used
example, a matter so trivial as how one squeezes the tube of toothpaste can be
a source of friction in a marriage. Or it may be certain words or expressions
one uses, stories or jokes one tells, or other habits or manners that may
irritate the spouse. If there is no sin or compromise of Christian testimony
involved, the spouse may choose to adapt himself/herself to the other’s behavior
and, with the aid of the Holy Spirit, accept and overlook it (see Prov. 19:11).
But if the disagreeable behavior continually produces irritation, or if it is
sinful, then one should seek lovingly, patiently, and meekly (Gal. 6:1) to
express to the other the nature of the concern. Here there is a great need to
speak the truth in love (Eph. 4:15) and to have the love of God shed abroad in
our hearts (Rom. 5:5). The one with the disagreeable habit correspondingly
should learn to accept the criticism without anger, irritation, defensiveness,
or retaliation. It is best if the two can pray together about the matter.

______________________________________________________________________________

 

            The Greek word
for thanksgiving (eucharistia) is related to the words for grace (charis)
and joy (chara). Grace is God’s Riches at Christ’s
Expense, or favor shown to those who deserve the opposite. “By grace are
you saved” (Eph. 2:8). A deep sense of God’s grace and favor toward us will
bring joy to our hearts, and that joy, in turn, will overflow from our hearts
in outward expressions of thanksgiving.                                                                       P.L.C.