There are four main points I wish to draw your attention to in Peter’s history:his conversion,
consecration, fall, and restoration. We have his conversion recorded in the first chapter of John
when he met Jesus:"And when Jesus beheld him, He said, Thou art Simon the son of Jona; thou
shalt be called Cephas, which is by interpretation, a stone." He was converted then, but not
consecrated to Christ. Perhaps you, too, are converted and can say, "I am a believer and I know
I am saved." Yes, but beloved, have you really set out to follow Christ? If not, you are very like
Peter between the first chapter of John and the fifth chapter of Luke. There we read of the Lord
addressing the people on the shore from Peter’s boat. When the sermon was over, the Lord, who
will be no man’s debtor, paid Peter for the use of his boat. His words were, "Launch out into the
deep, and let down your nets for a draught. And Simon, answering, said unto him, Master, we
have toiled all the night, and have taken nothing; nevertheless at Thy word I will let down the net"
(Luke 5:4,5). They caught so many fish that the net broke and they had to get their neighbors to
come and help them. Peter had never had such a catch in all his life, and when he saw it, "he fell
down at Jesus’ knees, saying, Depart from me:for I am a sinful man, O Lord."

What brought up this question of his sin? As he got a revelation to his soul of the glory of the
Person of his Master, that he was God as well as Man, I judge he was thoroughly ashamed as he
thought what his own pathway in relation to Him had been. The moment he came to land he
"forsook all, and followed Him" (verse 11). He was consecrated to Him now; Christ filled his
heart and the glory of His Person eclipsed everything here; he left all and followed Jesus. Now
was there ever a moment in your heart or mine like that? That is the real question for us.

Then came the close when the Lord gathered His disciples together in the upper room for the
breaking of bread. After supper was over, "the Lord said, Simon, Simon, behold, Satan hath
desired to have you, that he may sift you as wheat; but I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail
not; and when thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren" (Luke 22:31,32). The way the Lord
warned Peter is very striking. He refers to Satan sifting him as wheat. If Peter had not been wheat,
he would not have been sifted. If he had been mere chaff, the devil would have left him alone. He
never worries his own subjects; he keeps them in peace. Saints he always attacks.

What is the next word? "But I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not." That is beautiful. We
should pray for God’s servants too. Pray for those who are in the forefront of the battle. The devil
is ever ready to trip them up.

Now look at Peter’s answer and his fall:"Lord, I am ready to go with Thee, both into prison and
to death." What an answer! Beloved, that man had fallen! His fall did not occur when he really
denied the Lord. Here is where he fell. He was occupied with his own affection. Later that
evening the Lord was betrayed by Judas, following which they took Him, "and led Him, and
brought Him into the high priest’s house. And Peter followed afar off" (verse 54). Shortly
thereafter, Peter denied his Lord three times over as forewarned by Him.

Notice now how the process of restoration follows immediately upon the heels of Peter’s denial:
"And the Lord turned, and looked upon Peter, and Peter remembered the word of the Lord, how

He had said unto him, Before the cock crow, thou shall deny Me thrice. And Peter went out and
wept bitterly" (verses 61,62). How does the Lord recover our hearts? By a look sometimes. He
turned and looked on Peter. What kind of a look was it? Was it a look of anger and reproach? No,
I think it was a look of brokenhearted, disappointed love. It said, You do not know Me, but I
know and love thee. Nothing has changed My love to Thee. That look broke poor Peter’s heart
and he"went out, and wept bitterly."

If Peter had not had the word, "I have prayed for thee," and the look, I believe he would have
gone and hanged himself as Judas did. Remorse puts you into Satan’s hands, but repentance leads
to real breaking down before God. There never will be recovery without repentance.

You will find that Peter has a private restoration and a public one. The private restoration is
referred to in Luke 24:34 and the public restoration in John 21. The evidence of his restoration
is manifest in Acts 2. The Lord met Peter privately. What took place at the meeting nobody
knows. The Spirit of God has thrown a veil over it. Why? Because it would not do you any good
to know how the Lord dealt with me when my soul had backslider and it would not do me any
good to know how he dealt with you. But we do know that Peter was beautifully restored to the
Lord. This we find in John 21. His brethren were slower than Peter in reaching the Lord on that
occasion. He did not wait till the boat got to the shore; he cast himself into the sea in his hurry
to get near the Lord. He says in effect, "You can have the fish, let me get to the blessed Lord. It
is clear from this action that the man was restored.

Then the Lord gave him a public restoration. I think, beloved friends, you will never find a saint
doing any real good until he is completely rid of self-confidence and broken down before the
Lord, and hence really right with the Lord. He is then in a condition for the Lord to use him. We
see Peter restored to the fellowship and company of the apostles in John 21, and then we see him
in Acts 2 preaching the Word and mightily used of the Lord. I believe when the devil saw Peter
preaching in Acts 2 he wished he had left him alone in the high priest’s palace. Why? Because the
breaking of him was the making of him, and in the first half of the Acts of the Apostles we hear
a great deal more about Peter than any other servant. I repeat, the breaking of him was the making
of him. He was picked up and restored. Ah yes, there is nothing like grace. Grace saved us as
sinners, and grace has kept us as saints. And when we get to glory what shall we say? It was grace
all along the line. Therefore the deeper the sense of the Lord’s grace in our souls, the more our
hearts will rejoice in Him.

(From Backsliding and Restoration.)

The third verse of this psalm begins with, "He restoreth my soul." Just as sheep are quick to
wander off on paths of their own making, so we too have a natural tendency to go our own ways.

"Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it;
Prone to leave the God I love;
Yet Thou, Lord, hast deigned to seal it
With Thy Spirit from above."

A good shepherd is always watchful for a wandering sheep and will quickly bring back or restore
a sheep that has gone astray. Likewise our Great Shepherd has His eye upon each one of His
blood-bought sheep. The moment we begin to wander He works to bring us back to Himself
again. How comforting and assuring it is to know that through each hour of every day I have One
who has His eye upon me. As my High Priest, He ever lives to make intercession for me (Heb.
7:25). He cares for me and is interested in each detail of my life. He desires that I keep near Him,
enjoying His fellowship. How quickly and easily that fellowship can be broken:by reading a bad
story in a magazine; watching something on television; hearing some suggestive joke or remark!
The things we see and hear affect our thoughts and these thoughts often find expression in our
words and lives. It is no wonder that David said, "Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation
of my heart, be acceptable in Thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer" (Psalm 19:14).

This wandering from the Great Shepherd can begin so gradually that we often are not aware that
any distance has come between Him and us. The loss of fellowship with the Lord Jesus in those
green pastures and beside those still waters is almost always accompanied by a failure in three
areas of our spiritual life:(1) prayer, (2) Bible reading and study, and/or (3) fellowship with God
s people. When we discover that we are spending less and less time in these three areas, we can
be sure that we are wandering away from our Great Shepherd. God speaks to us through His
Word, while we speak to Him through prayer. Neglecting these two we lose the joy of fellowship
with Him. Further, when we forsake the assembling of ourselves together (Heb. 10:25), we lose
the joy of fellowship with others. Our Great Shepherd wants to restore to us the joy of His
salvation. This is His work as advocate. "If any man sin we have an advocate with the Father,
Jesus Christ the righteous" (1 John 2:1). He uses His Word to correct us and turn us back to
Himself. A brother or sister in Christ may be used to bring that Word to us. If our ears are open
to hear His voice, this may be all that is needed to bring us back to Himself.

If we continue to go our own way, our Great Shepherd may allow something to come into our
lives that will cause us to stop and listen to His "still small voice." He will continue His restoring
work in our souls because He loves us too much to allow us to continue on our own way. This
may take months or even years before we finally yield to His control. This will be at a great loss
to us and surely to Him also. I have known some of the Lord’s sheep who have wasted years of
then- life before they yielded to the Shepherd’s leading and guiding. These are years which the
prophet Joel refers to as years which the locust and the cankerworm hath eaten (Joel 2:25).
However, God wants to restore these years to us if we will let Him.

If we come to Him confessing our sins, "He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to
cleanse us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:9). When we come to Him in this way our actions
will be brought under the cleansing power of His Word. This will cause us to judge our ways and
to come near to our great, all-gracious Shepherd. We will be restored to Him, brought back again.
We will experience in a fresh way His love and forgiveness and know again the joy of His
salvation (Psalm 51:12). That joy filling our hearts and lives will be a testimony to others as we
follow the leading of our Great Shepherd.

"He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake." The leading of our Great
Shepherd will always be in the paths of righteousness. Righteousness simply means "what is
right." The standards for what is right and what is wrong are God’s standards which have been
revealed in His Word. These paths of righteousness marked out for us will cause us to have right
thinking, right speaking, and right acting and living before both God and man. We will be able
to say with the apostle Paul, "And herein do I exercise myself, to have always a conscience void
of offence toward God, and toward men" (Acts 24:16). We will find that walking in these paths
of righteousness will affect us in every area of our lives_in our homes, at school, at work, and
in the assembly.

What a need there is today of this right living in the homes of believers! Our Shepherd has marked
out the paths for every member of the home to follow and only as we are obedient to His Word
can there be blessing in the home. These paths can be found in many scriptures but especially in
the epistles to the Ephesians and to the Colossians.

At school there is pressure to conform to the world’s standards. How necessary to hear our
Shepherd’s voice, "This is the way, walk ye in it" (Isa. 30:21). Others may laugh at us and accuse
us of being old-fashioned and boring. They may say to us, "Get with it_join the crowd." But the
believer who wants to follow His Shepherd’s leading will stand firm upon the unchanging Word
of God. The Great Shepherd has said, "If ye be reproached for the name of Christ, happy are ye;
for the spirit of glory and of God resteth upon you" (1 Peter 4:14).

At work there may be the temptation to do as little as possible for our employer. This is not
following our Lord in the paths of righteousness. Has He not said, "Servants, be submissive to
your masters with all respect, not only to those who are good and gentle, but also to those who
are unreasonable" (1 Peter 2:18 NASV). And again, "Slaves, in all things obey those who are
your masters on earth, not with external service, as those who merely please men, but with
sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord. Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord
rather than for men" (Col. 3:22,23 NASV).

In the local assembly as well there is a great need for following our Shepherd hi the paths of
righteousness. We must "follow righteousness, faith, love, peace, with them that call on the Lord
out of a pure heart" (2 Tim. 2:22). In each of these areas it will cost us to follow our Shepherd.
But He has been there before us and His life is a perfect example for us to follow. This pathway
of suffering is a pathway that we have been called to "because Christ also suffered for us, leaving
us an example, that ye should follow His steps. For ye were as sheep going astray; but are now
returned unto the Shepherd and Bishop of your souls" (1 Peter 2:21-25). We will experience the

fellowship of His sufferings and know His joy and love in a very real way (Phil. 3:10).

"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil:for Thou art
with me." In this verse we find that the speaker of the Psalm turns from speaking about His
Shepherd to speak to the Shepherd Himself. We see this from the use of the personal pronouns
"I" and "Thou." How very near He is to us as we walk through the valley of the shadow of death.
Sheep are often led through dangerous ravines and valleys in order to get to good grazing ground.
There are many natural enemies of the sheep in these places and only the knowledge of the
shepherd’s presence keeps the sheep from fleeing in fear. We, too, are passing through a valley
which has the shadow of death upon it. Death itself has no fear for the believer. Our Great
Shepherd passed through death and judgment for us when He died for our sins upon the cross. His
death has taken the fear of death away for us. But this world lies under its shadow and because
of this we should not be surprised if we experience sorrow, suffering, disappointment, and all
kinds of tribulation. As the Lord Jesus told us in John 16:33:"In the world ye shall have
tribulation; but be of good cheer:I have overcome the world." By faith in Him we too can
overcome the world (1 John 5:4,5). We need not fear any evil of the Evil One himself because
"greater is He that is in you, than he that is in the world" (1 John 4:4). He has said, "I will never
leave thee nor forsake thee" (Heb. 13:5,6). Resting in faith upon His promises we can say with
David, "I will fear no evil:for Thou art with me." How can I be afraid when my Great Shepherd
has promised to be at my side, holding my right hand? (Isa. 41:13). "I will trust, and not be
afraid" (Isa. 12:2).

As we walk with Him through the valley of the shadow of death we will experience the comfort
of His rod and staff. "Thy rod and Thy staff they comfort me." The shepherd uses his rod to
protect the sheep from danger and also to discipline them when necessary. This rod would remind
us of God’s Word which is the sword of the Spirit (Eph. 6:17). As such it is able to defeat all our
enemies and put them to flight. In the use of the rod as a weapon one shepherd tells how he
watched native shepherd lads of Africa practicing throwing their rods for hours. They would have
competitions to see who could throw their rod with the greatest accuracy across the greatest
distance. If I am to use God’s Word effectively, then I must "strive diligently to present myself
approved to God, a workman that has not to be ashamed, cutting in a straight line the Word of
truth" (2 Tim. 2:15 JND). I must read, study, and meditate upon God’s Word before I can use it
in the spiritual battles which I will face every day. However, the knowledge of God’s Word alone
will not, in itself, be enough to meet the enemy. We must also be under the control of the Holy
Spirit. The Holy Spirit then will be able to lead us to use the right scripture for any given
situation. We see an example of this when our Lord Jesus met Satan in the wilderness (Matt. 4:1-
11). He used just the needed scripture to meet each of Satan’s temptations. Modernism,
humanism, and all the cults twist the scriptures to fit systems of error. But scripture taken in its
context, and used in the power of the Holy Spirit, will expose these false systems. It is a comfort
to me to know that I can depend on God’s Word to meet every situation.

The shepherd also uses his rod to discipline his wayward sheep. Our Great Shepherd would use
His Word to correct us when we go astray. The Holy Spirit will bring to our remembrance a
scripture which will speak to our hearts and cause us to return to Him. God’s Word will also
search out and reveal our hidden faults such as self-will, pride, etc. David wanted the Great

Shepherd to correct everything that was wrong in his life, so he prayed, "Search me, O God, and
know my heart; try me, and know my thoughts; and see if there be any wicked way in me, and
lead me in the way everlasting" (Psalm 139:23,24). Our shepherd will correct us but always in
love. "For whom the Lord loveth He chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom He receiveth"
(Heb. 12:6). What a comfort we find in our Shepherd’s rod.

The shepherd’s staff, too, brings comfort to his sheep. Whenever a sheep needs special attention
the shepherd will usually use his staff. If he wants to examine a sheep more closely he will use
his staff to draw the sheep to him. He will use it to rescue a sheep that has fallen into a crevice.
Or he may use it to guide a particular sheep along a new path.

There are times in our life when we need special attention. We may feel the need of being drawn
closer to our Shepherd. We may be in trouble and need to be rescued. It may be that we are in
special need of guidance. It is at times like these that the Holy Spirit will give us the comfort of
the scriptures. There will be the special verse that will answer our need and get us through the
day. We see the Shepherd’s staff being used one day in the apostle Paul’s life. He had almost been
killed by an unruly mob. He was now alone in the prison. Then we read, "And the night following
the Lord stood by him, and said, Be of good cheer, Paul:for as thou hast testified of me in
Jerusalem, so must thou bear witness also at Rome" (Acts 23:11). Paul was encouraged and
strengthened by that timely word. So our Great Shepherd comforts us in times of difficulty with
His rod and His staff. (To be continued)

We began this topic of elements of a happy marriage in the last issue with a discussion of love and
submission based on Ephesians 5. Further elements which provide a basis for husband and wife
to live together happily_not just for the first year or two but for a lifetime_are given in the
present article.

Praying and Reading Together

It is very worthwhile for husband and wife to set aside a period of time each day in addition to
personal "quiet time" or devotions for reading the Bible and Biblical commentaries together and
for praying together. If there is time for only one of these activities, they might be
alternated_reading together one day and praying together the next. If time cannot be found for
both the personal devotions and the reading and praying together, then perhaps these could be
alternated from one day to the next as well. By praying together I do not mean that the husband
should pray and the wife listen, but that both should share in the praying. In the process of praying
together we find ourselves taking an active interest in that which interests and concerns our mate.
Of particular importance is joining together in united prayer for our children and for wisdom in
bringing them up for the Lord (see Matt. 18:19 for the value of united prayer). Also, as another
example of the value of praying together, if the husband has been joining with the wife in prayer
for the salvation or spiritual growth of her friends and acquaintances, he will more readily and
enthusiastically support her in activities_such as having her friends over for dinner_which may
afford an opportunity to share the things of Christ with them.

Communication

A recent article in this magazine entitled, "Before You Marry" (May-June 1981), concluded with
the following piece of advice:"Since a successful marriage depends on constant communication,
the engaged couple must talk, talk, talk." This communication is so very important throughout
marriage. In Scripture we read, "Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that
weep" (Rom. 12:15). But to do this there must be the communication to one another of our joys
and successes, as well as our depressions, anxieties, and failures.

Often it may be particularly difficult for the husband to share with his wife his feelings of
depression or fear or failure. He rather prefers to regard himself as emotionally independent and
able to work out his own problems by himself. However, an understanding wife can be an
immense help to the husband in such matters (this is one aspect of the wife being a "helpmate,"
Gen. 2:18 JND). At the very least they can pray together and unitedly seek the Lord’s help in the
matter. And the sharing in this way will have the effect of drawing the two closer together
emotionally and spiritually. Real communication in marriage is the ability to share one’s innermost
feelings with one’s partner. For this to be effective there must be a foundation of mutual love,
trust, patience, forgiveness, and understanding.

Something for young husbands and fathers to consider is the fact that often while they are at work
associating with other adults all day long, their wives may be spending most of their days with

only her small children for company. So the husband_weary as he may be_should try to put his
wife’s need for adult-level communication above his natural and selfish desire to relax in his
favorite easy chair with the newspaper or television when he gets home from work.

A particularly difficult area of communication involves things that the husband and wife find in
each other that they do not like. As pointed out in a previous chapter, marriage involves a very
major adjustment in the lives of two persons who often have quite different personalities, likes and
dislikes, collections of friends and relatives, etc. To take an oft-used example, a matter so trivial
as how one squeezes the tube of toothpaste can be a source of friction in a marriage. Or it may
be certain words or expressions one uses, stories or jokes one tells, or other habits or manners
which may irritate the spouse. If there is no sin or compromise of Christian testimony involved,
the spouse may choose to adapt himself/herself to the other’s behavior and seek to learn, with the
aid of the Holy Spirit, to accept and overlook it. But if the disagreeable behavior continually
produces irritation, or if it is sinful, then one should seek lovingly, patiently, and meekly (Gal.
6:1) to express to the other the nature of the concern. Here there is a great need to speak the truth
in love (Eph. 4:15) and to have the love of God shed abroad in our hearts (Rom. 5:5). The one
with the disagreeable habit correspondingly should seek to accept the criticism without anger,
irritation, defensiveness, or retaliation. Ideally, the two should be able to pray together about the
matter. Some couples have found it helpful occasionally to write down and share lists of things
they like and dislike about each other. This, of course, should only be done by mutual consent,
and obviously the emphasis should be on trying to list as many positive, likeable traits as possible.

Confession and Forgiveness

This topic is, in many ways, an extension of the previous paragraph. In moments of weakness,
impatience, tiredness, and being out of communion with our heavenly Father, we say or do things
which are unwise, or sinful, or offensive to other persons. Very often the "other person" is our
spouse. And all too frequently, since it is our spouse, we take a lax attitude about the matter, or
perhaps even become defensive about our offense. Instead of being sorry for the word or deed
which hurt our spouse, we become irritated that the other cannot just overlook and not take
seriously those careless things we say and do. This may lead to angry exchanges and continuing
conflict. Or what may often be worse, one of the spouses retaliates by giving the other the "silent
treatment."

What is so sorely needed in such instances is confession_ that is, the acknowledgment of sin or
careless behavior on the part of the offender. (Often both spouses will be the offenders by the time
it is over.) Let it be noted that statements such as, "I am sorry if I did anything to offend you,"
do not constitute real confessions. Rather they place the blame on the other person for having so
sensitive a constitution as to be easily offended. Next to "I love you," perhaps the most important
words to be communicated by one marriage partner to another are, "Honey, I was wrong; will you
forgive me?" Confession to God of our sins is incomplete if it does not also include confession to
those particular persons against whom we have sinned (Matt. 5:23,24; James 5:16; Prov. 28:13).

On the other side, let there always be a spirit of forgiveness toward our spouses as toward all men.
We need not wait for confession to do this. "The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; and it

is his glory to pass over a transgression" (Prov. 19:11). Just think of all that God has forgiven in
us; the vast majority of our sins we have never even been aware of. In the light of this, how can
we withhold our forgiveness of others? (Matt. 6:12,14,15; 18:21-35; Luke 17:3,4; Eph. 4:32;
Col. 3:13).

Finally, in connection with forgiveness, there is an important principal stated in 1 Cor. 13:5:
"[Love] thinketh no evil." Literally this means that love does not keep accounts or records of the
evil done against it. So the message to husbands and wives is not to hold grudges against each
other, or bring up again past offenses which have already been confessed and forgiven.

Lord willing, some further elements of a happy marriage will be discussed in the next issue.