It is perfectly delightful to contemplate the moral triumphs of Christianity_the victories which it
gains over self and the world, and the marvelous way in which such victories are obtained. … A
beautiful illustration of this is afforded in Philippians 2 in which we have a series of examples of
self-surrender, commencing with a divinely perfect One, the Lord Himself.

But before we proceed to gaze upon this exquisite picture, it may be well to inquire what it was
that rendered it needful to present such a picture before the Philippian saints. … It was not a
splitting into sects and parties, as at Corinth. It was not a return to the law and ritualism, as at
Galatia. It was not a hankering after philosophy and the rudiments of the world, as at Colosse.
What was it then? It was a root of envy and strife. The sprouting of this root is seen very distinctly
in the collision between those two sisters, "Euodias and Syntyche" (chapter 4:2), but it is glanced
at in earlier portions of the epistle, and a divine remedy supplied. . . .

Paul loved the saints at Philippi, and rejoiced in their love to him, and tasted the fragrant fruit of
that love again and again. But then he saw that it was one thing to love and be kind to a distant
apostle, and quite another thing to agree among themselves. Doubtless, Euodias and Syntyche both
contributed to send a present to Paul, though they were not pulling harmoniously together in the
wear and tear of daily life and service. This is, alas! no uncommon case. Many sisters and
brothers too are ready to contribute of their substance to help some distant servant of Christ, and
yet they do not walk pleasantly together. How is this? There is a lack of self-surrender. This, we
may rest assured, is the real secret of much of the "strife and vainglory" so painfully manifest in
the very midst of the people of God. It is one thing to walk alone, and it is another thing to walk
in company with our brethren in the practical recognition of that great truth of the unity of the
body, and in the remembrance that "we are members one of another." … Now, it is when we are
called to walk in the actual acknowledgment of this great truth that there is a demand for self-
surrender…. If Euodias and Syntyche could have walked alone, there would have been no
collision, no strife. But they were called to walk together, and here was the demand for self-
surrender.

And be it ever remembered that Christians are not members of a club, of a sect, or of an
association; they are members of a body, each connected with all, and all connected, by the fact
of the indwelling of the Holy Spirit, with the risen and glorified Head in heaven.

This is an immense truth, and the practical carrying out of it will cost us not only all we have, but
all we are. There is no place in all the universe where self will be so pulled to pieces as in the
assembly of God. And is it not well? Is it not a powerful proof of the divine ground on which that
assembly is gathered? Are we not_should we not be_glad to have our hateful self thus pulled to
pieces? Shall we_ought we to_run away from those who do it for us? Are we not glad_do we
not often pray, to get rid of self? And shall we quarrel with those who are God’s instruments in
answering our prayers? True, they may do the work roughly and clumsily; but no matter for that.
Whoever helps me to crush and sink self does me a kind turn, however awkwardly he may do it.
One thing is certain, no man can ever rob us of that which, after all, is the only thing worth
having, namely, Christ. This is a precious consolation. Let self go; we shall have the more of

Christ. Euodias might lay the blame on Syntyche, and Syntyche on Euodias; the apostle does not
raise the question of which was right or of which was wrong, but he beseeches both to be "of the
same mind in the Lord."

We may range through the wide domain of inspiration and not find a more exquisite model of self-
surrender than that which is presented to us in the opening lines of Philippians 2. … Let us
approach the marvelous picture, and, gazing intently upon it, seek to catch its inspiration.

"If there be therefore any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the
Spirit, if any bowels and mercies, fulfil ye my joy, that ye be likeminded, having the same love,
being of one accord, of one mind. Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in
lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own
things, but every man also on the things of others. Let this mind be in you, which was also in
Christ Jesus:who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God; but
made Himself of no reputation, and took upon Him the form of a servant, and was made in the
likeness of men; and being found in fashion as a man, He humbled Himself, and became obedient
unto death, even the death of the cross" (verses 1-8).

Here, then, is the divine remedy for envy and jealousy, strife and vain glory_in short, for self-
occupation in all its hideous forms. The inspired penman introduces to our hearts the self-emptied,
humble, obedient Man, Christ Jesus. Here was One who possessed all power in heaven and earth.
Divine majesty and glory belonged to Him. He was God over all, blessed for ever. By Him all
things were made, and by Him they subsist. And yet He appeared in this world as a poor man_a
servant_one who had not where to lay His head. . . . We never find Him taking care to supply
Himself with anything. His was a life of perfect self-surrender. He who was everything made
Himself nothing. He stood in perfect contrast with the first Adam, who being but a man thought
to make himself like God. . . . The Lord Jesus, who was the Most High God, took the very lowest
place among men. It is utterly impossible that any man can ever take so low a place as Jesus. The
word is, "He made Himself of no reputation." He went so low that no one could possibly put Him
lower. "He became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross." … He was the despised,
neglected, self-emptied, meek, and lowly man, from first to last. He gave up all, even to life
itself. In a word, His self-surrender was complete.

And, now, mark the results:"Wherefore God also hath highly exalted Him, and given Him a
name which is above every name; that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of things in
heaven, and things in earth, and things under the earth; and that every tongue should confess that
Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father" (verses 9-11).

The blessed Lord Jesus took the very lowest place; but God has given Him the very highest. He
made Himself nothing; but God has made Him everything. . . . What does all this teach us? It
teaches us that the way to get up is to go down. This is a grand lesson, and one which we very
much need to learn. It would effectually deliver us from envy and jealousy, from strife and
vainglory, from self-importance and self-occupation. God will assuredly exalt those who, in the
spirit and mind of Christ, take the low place; and, on the other hand, He will, as assuredly, abase
those who seek to be somebody.

Oh! to be nothing! This is true liberty_true happiness-true moral elevation. And then what intense
power of attraction is found in one who makes nothing of himself! And, on the other hand, how
repulsive is a pushing, forward, elbowing, self-exalting spirit! How utterly unworthy is this of one
who bears the name of Him who made Himself of no reputation! Is it not an established truth that
ambition cannot possibly live in the presence of the One who emptied Himself? No doubt. An
"ambitious Christian" is a flagrant contradiction of terms.

But there are other samples of self-surrender presented to us in this exquisite chapter; they are
inferior no doubt to the divine model at which we have been gazing, for in this as in all things
else, Jesus must have the preeminence. Still, though inferior and imperfect, they are deeply
interesting and valuable to us. Look at Paul. See how deeply he had drunk into his Master’s spirit
of self-surrender:"Yea, and if I be offered upon the sacrifice and service of your faith, I joy, and
rejoice with you all" (verse 17). This is most beautiful. Paul was ready to be nothing_to be
spent_to be poured forth as a libation upon the Philippians’ sacrifice. It mattered not to him who
presented the sacrifice, or who performed the service, provided the thing was done. Does not this
cause some of us to blush? How little do we know of this excellent spirit! How prone we are to
attach importance to work if we ourselves have anything to do with it! How little able to joy and
rejoice with others in their sacrifice and service! Our work, our preaching, our writings, have an
interest in our view quite different from those of any one else. In a word, self, self, detestable self,
creeps in even in that which seems to be the service of Christ. We are drawn to those who think
well of us and of our work, and retire from those who think otherwise. All this needs to be
judged. It is unlike Christ, and unworthy of those who bear His holy name. Paul had so learned
Christ as to be able to rejoice in the work and service of others as well as in his own; and even
where Christ was preached of contention, he could rejoice.

Then, again, look at Paul’s son in the faith, Timothy. Hearken to the glowing testimony borne to
him by the pen of inspiration. "But I trust in the Lord Jesus to send Timotheus shortly unto you,
that I also may be of good comfort, when I know your state. For I have no man likeminded, who
will naturally care for your state. For all seek their own, not the things which are Jesus Christ’s.
But ye know the proof of him, that as a son with the father, he hath served with me in the gospel"
(verses 19-22). Here was self-surrender. Timothy naturally cared for the saints; and that, too, at
a moment when all sought their own things. And yet, dear as Timothy was to Paul’s
heart_valuable as such a self-denying servant must have been to him in the work of the gospel,
he was willing to part with him for the sake of the Church. Timothy, likewise, was willing to be
separated from his invaluable friend and father in the faith in order to ease his anxious mind in
reference to the state of the Philippians. This was indeed proof of real devotedness and self-
surrender. Timothy did not talk of these things; he practiced them. He did not make a parade of
his doings; but Paul, by the Holy Spirit, engraved them on a tablet from which they can never be
erased. This was infinitely better. "Let another man praise thee, and not thine own mouth" (Prov.
27:2).

Let us finally examine one more figure who occupies a prominent place in Philippians 2. It is
Epaphroditus. Who was he? Was he a great preacher? an eloquent speaker? a preeminently gifted
brother? We are not told. But this we are told, and told most powerfully and touchingly:he was
one who exhibited a lovely spirit of self-surrender. This is better than all the gifts and eloquence,

power and learning, that could possibly be concentrated in any single individual. Epaphroditus was
one of that illustrious class who seek to make nothing of themselves; and as a consequence the
inspired apostle spares no pains to exalt him:"Yet I supposed it necessary to send to you
Epaphroditus, my brother, and companion in labor, and fellow soldier, but your messenger, and
he that ministered to my wants" (verse 25). What a cluster of dignities! What a brilliant array of
titles! How little did this dear and unpretending servant of Christ imagine that he was to have such
a monument erected to his memory!

But what did this remarkable man do? He spent himself! It was not the surrender of his fortune
merely, but the surrender of himself. Let us hearken to the record concerning this man of Christ:
"He longed after you all, and was full of heaviness." Why? Was it because he was sick? because
of his pains, and aches, and privations? Nothing of the sort. Epaphroditus did not belong to the
generation of whiners and complainers. He was thinking of others. "He was full of heaviness,
because that ye had heard that he had been sick." How lovely! He was occupied about the
Philippians and their sorrow about him. The only thing that affected him in his illness was the
thought of how it would affect them. Perfectly exquisite! This honored servant of Christ had
brought himself to death’s door to serve others, and when there, in place of being occupied about
himself and his ailments, he was thinking of the sorrow of others. "He was sick nigh unto death;
but God had mercy on him; and not on him only, but on me also, lest I should have sorrow upon
sorrow" (verse 27). Can anything be more morally beautiful than this? It is one of the rarest
pictures ever presented to the human eye. There is Epaphroditus, nigh unto death for the sake of
others; but he is full of sorrow about the Philippians; and the Philippians are full of sorrow about
him; Paul is full of sorrow about both; and God comes and mingles Himself with the scene, and,
in mercy to all, raises up the loved one from the bed of death.

And then mark the tender solicitude of the blessed apostle:"I sent him therefore the more
carefully, that, when ye see him again, ye may rejoice, and that I may be the less sorrowful.
Receive him therefore in the Lord with all gladness; and hold such in reputation." Why? Was it
because of his gifts, his rank, or his wealth? No, but because of his self-surrender. "Because for
the work of Christ he was nigh unto death, not regarding his life, to supply your lack of service
toward me."

Oh! dear Christian reader, let us think on these things. We have introduced you to a picture, and
we leave you to gaze upon it. The grouping is divine. There is a moral line running through the
entire scene, and linking the figures into one striking group. . . . We have the blessed Lord,
perfect in His self-surrender, as in all beside; and then we have Paul, Timothy, and Epaphroditus,
each, in his measure, exhibiting the rare and lovely grace of self-surrender.

(From Short Papers, Vol. 1, by C. H. Mackintosh, Copyright 1975 by Believers Bookshelf,
Sunbury, Pennsylvania. Used by permission.)

The Psalmist has been speaking first of the glory and handiwork of God as declared by the
heavens and then of that yet fuller testimony of God to man as given by His Word, the holy
Scriptures.

Having spoken in verses 7-9 of the law, testimony, statutes, commandment, fear, and judgments
of the Lord, the Psalmist continues in verse 10 by declaring, "More to be desired are they than
gold, yea, than much fine gold." Well might each of us ask ourselves, "How much do I value the
Word of God? Does it far exceed material possessions in my estimation? Or does my quest for
material gain and worldly recognition crowd out God’s Word and relegate it to a secondary place
in my life?"

The Word is further declared to be "sweeter also than honey and the honeycomb" (verse 10).
Jeremiah exclaims, "Thy words were found and I did eat them; and Thy Word was unto me the
joy and rejoicing of mine heart" (Jer. 15:16). And Job says, "I have esteemed the words of His
mouth more than my necessary food" (Job 23:12). God’s Word is not always complimentary to
us; it does not cater to our egos, our pride. It is natural for us to be drawn to those who are kind
to us, who compliment us, who build us up, who agree with us. Perhaps the honey would typify
the sweetness of these natural relationships. But we are to find an even richer, deeper sweetness
in God’s Word_in that which may sometimes even rebuke us, convict us, humble us (see Prov.
27:5-7; 2 Tim. 3:16,17)_for it leads us to richer and eternal blessings. This is brought out in the
next verse:"Moreover by them is thy servant warned; and in keeping of them there is great
reward."

Who can understand his errors?" Jeremiah states the matter similarly:"The heart is deceitful
above all things and desperately wicked:who can know it?" (Jer. 17:9). Left to our own
reasonings and judgment we are woefully deficient in understanding the true scope and extent and
nature of our sinfulness. For this reason the law was given, "For by the law is the knowledge of
sin" (Rom. 3:20), "Law entered that the offence might abound" (Rom. 5:20). Thus it is only by
searching God’s Word with open heart and mind and allowing His Word to search our hearts and
minds in return that we can understand our errors.

"Cleanse Thou me from secret faults." As we read and study God’s Word, and come to know
more fully the mind and ways of our Father, we will come to appreciate more fully the
deceitfulness of our own hearts and in how many ways and how frequently we sin and displease
our heavenly Father. This will lead us to be suspicious that there is probably much more lurking
in our hearts that needs to be uncovered and cleansed out of our lives. And so we are led to pray
with the Psalmist, "Cleanse Thou me from secret faults" as well as the prayer in Psalm 139,
"Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me, and know my thoughts; and see if there be any
wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." It is not true that ignorance of what is
sin has no harmful effect on us. The fact that the Levitical offerings were only available for sins
of ignorance is one confirmation of this. Thus we are responsible to have our ignorance dispelled
by prayerfully searching God’s Word to learn more of Himself and what pleases Him.

Now if we pray these prayers_"Cleanse me" and "search me"_it is hoped that we will have a
real desire for God to answer our prayers. And if we truly have this desire, then we must expect
to have our sins exposed. And such exposure may not always be in a gentle way; it depends our
consciences may be in certain areas and how difficult it is for God to get our attention. So in
addition to our sins, being exposed through reading the Word and prayer, :we may also find our
sins and inconsistencies being pointed out by our children, neighbors, spouses, brothers or sisters
in Christ, and others. If this happens, let us not become defensive_as would be our natural
reaction_but be thankful that God is answering our prayers.

"Keep back Thy servant also from presumptuous sins; let them not have dominion over me; then
shall I be upright, and I shall be innocent from the great transgression." Carelessness and laxity
with regard to having our secret faults brought to light and cleansed can easily lead progressively
to the allowance of presumptuous sins, that is, those done in the full consciousness that we are
doing wrong. The presumptuous sins, in turn, if indulged, may lead to a progressive hardening
of the conscience and ultimately to "great transgression" or revolt against God.

"Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in Thy sight, O Lord,
my strength, and my redeemer." This concluding portion of the Psalm discloses the extent to
which the writer had learned about the nature of sin. Sin is not limited to outward acts, such as
murder, theft, adultery, or idolatry. Sin is often found on our tongues (Matt. 5:22; Eph. 4:29, 5:4;
James 3:5-10) ; meditation of our hearts (Prov. 24:9; Matt. 5:28; James 3:14). Well might we join
the Psalmist in that our words, our thoughts, our meditations, our all might be acceptable in the
sight of our Lord_our Strength and our Redeemer.

The ordinary thought of self-denial, whether among saints or the people of the world, is giving
up. There may be great diversity of thought as to what is to be given up. Some would limit it to
certain characteristically worldly things_card-playing, dancing, the theater, etc. Others would
confine it to a certain season during which time pleasures freely indulged in the remainder of the
year are rigidly shunned.

Others who see much more than this still look upon self-denial as a matter of details. This, that,
and the other is to be given up, as pleasing to the natural man. Nor is it possible that such an
interpretation should not tend to foster spiritual pride; for does not one deserve credit for
relinquishing so much?

But is this the thought of the passage, "Let him deny (or refuse) himself" (Luke 9:23)? Self is to
be refused, to be given up. A man may give up anything, and well-nigh everything, but so long
as he holds fast to himself he has not learned the first elements of self-denial. "I am crucified with
Christ," says the apostle. Did he mean that he was doing this or that distasteful thing, and so
practicing self-denial? Ah no! Paul himself was denied; he was done with himself, and now it was
Christ who lived in him. Can we think of Paul as occupied with a multiplicity of questions as to
whether he had to give up one thing and another? The cross settled all that for him. There was an
end to himself, as well as an end to the world, so far as he was concerned. And with this went the
entire mass of questions that monasticism has tried in vain to settle.

(From Help and Food, Vol. 18.)

As I skimmed the local newspaper a few days ago, my eye caught the statement that couples "are
getting divorced in unprecedented numbers and . . . the American family is in crisis because the
American marriage is in crisis." A 1980 almanac tells us that the number of divorces in the United
States each year has risen to over 50% of the annual number of marriages. And yet another source
indicates that the divorce rate in the United States is higher than that of any other civilized nation
in the world.

Statements and statistics like these are read and heard so frequently these days that they no longer
shock or surprise us. However, the trends and attitudes depicted by such statistics are most
distressing to most Christian believers and to many non-Christians as well. The author of the first
statement quoted above went on to offer a possible solution to this problem. The solution was
commendable to a certain extent, emphasizing the importance of marriage partners developing a
close friendship. However, as with most advice offered in today’s secular news media, it fell short
of any real and lasting solution in that it completely ignored the spiritual elements of the marriage
relationship and the wisdom which God has to offer on the subject in His holy Word.

Unfortunately, as the world at large adopts more lax, careless, unscriptural attitudes and standards
concerning marriage and divorce, it is inevitable that the changing standards will be_indeed, are
already_creeping stealthily and steadily into the Christian community as well. Things that
shocked us twenty years ago are accepted almost without question today in many Christian circles.
There are strong Satanic and humanistic movements at work today which are in effect aimed at
breaking down marriage and family relationships. Thus, it is with a sense of urgency and deep
concern for my brothers and sisters in Christ, as well as for our country as a whole, that I am
burdened to prepare a series of articles relating to the Christian and marriage for inclusion in
Words of Truth for the next few issues, should the Lord tarry. Topics to be discussed will include
the choice of a marriage partner, the engagement period, elements of a Christ-centered marriage,
marriage with an unsaved partner, divorce and remarriage, and role of the assembly in relation
to marriage, divorce, and remarriage.

Choosing a Marriage Partner (Part I)

No doubt the most important element that goes into making a lasting and happy marriage is the
proper choice of a marriage partner. I am convinced that God is intensely interested in this matter
for each of His children. Not only has God laid down general principles in His Word to guide us
in our choice of a partner, but He is also willing to lead us_if we so allow Him_to the specific
person whom He, in His infinite wisdom, knows to be the one best suited to be a lifetime partner
for us. The selection of a bride for Isaac (Gen. 24) is an example of this.

How, then, can we discern the Lord’s mind concerning a marriage partner? First, the Scriptures
provide some general guidelines as to where to begin looking and how to "narrow the field."

It is very clear from Scripture that a Christian should never under any circumstances marry an
unbeliever. How "can two walk together, except they be agreed?" (Amos 3:3). "Be ye not

unequally yoked together with unbelievers; for what fellowship hath righteousness with
unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness? and what concord hath Christ
with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel" (2 Cor. 6:14,15). The nation of
Israel was warned repeatedly not to enter into marriages with the men and women of the nations
around them, the reason being that "they will turn away thy son from following Me, that they may
serve other gods" (Deut. 7:1-4). These warnings are, in principle, no less needed by God’s
children today.

Related to this is the injunction in 1 Corinthians 7 that marriage should be only "in the Lord." This
certainly includes the notion that a true, born-again Christian should marry only another true,
born-again Christian. But there is a further thought found in the expression, "in the Lord." We
are to look for a marriage partner who is not only saved but openly desirous of living for Christ,
having Him as the Lord of his/her life, doing the will of the Father, and filled with the Holy
Spirit.

These general guidelines might be carried yet another step as we consider that Isaac’s wife was
to be selected from his father’s relatives (Gen. 24:3,4) and the daughters of Zelophehad were
commanded to marry only men who belonged to their own tribe of Manasseh (Num. 27:1-11;
36:1-13). As stated by another:"We have already seen that it is never right for a believer to marry
an unbeliever, for that is a very serious infraction of the injunction against the unequal yoke. But
what shall we say of a child of God marrying another child of God when they are not of the same
mind in the things of the Lord? when one is associated with a group of Christians opposed to the
position of the company with whom the other is identified? Such a marriage could not correctly
be called an unequal yoke in the sense of one being a child of light and the other being a child of
darkness, for they are both saved by the precious blood of Christ. . . . Yet it would very likely
be a most unhappy union, fraught with danger to both partners and to their posterity" ( The
Institution of Marriage, Bible Truth Publishers).

Marriage is difficult enough_that is, requiring the joining together of two different personalities,
points of view, family backgrounds, educational backgrounds, and sets of personal interests and
abilities, and learning to live in harmony for the next fifty years or so_without having these
difficulties compounded by husband and wife having differing ecclesiastical affiliations. As we
shall notice in more detail in a subsequent issue, the backbone of a healthy, happy marriage is a
strong spiritual relationship; and this spiritual relationship is substantially weakened when the
husband and wife are not of one mind as to the assembling together with other Christians. Further
problems arise when there are children in the family:often the husband will want the children to
go with him and the wife will want them to go with her to the meetings of the assembly, possibly
leading to marital conflicts as well as confusion in the children’s minds. Seeking to resolve this
conflict by compromise_that is, either the husband or the wife giving up his/her ecclesiastical
affiliation and joining with the other as a matter of convenience and of making peace rather than
conviction of heart that one is acting Scripturally and according to the Lord’s mind in changing
one’s ecclesiastical association_is not a happy solution. It may often lead to a bad conscience
before God and consequently to defeat in one’s spiritual life. Better it is to avoid this conflict in
the first place by not entering into marriage under such circumstances. Needless to say, these
problems are equally, if not more, acute when a Christian marries a non-Christian.

In the next issue, Lord willing, we shall continue this subject with a consideration of how to
identify the specific person whom the Lord wants us to marry_that is, if He wants us to marry
at all.