There are experiences which all servants of God go through that seem almost too personal and too
sacred to reveal to the public, and yet some of these incidents might be used of the Lord to
strengthen the faith of others passing through seasons of special trial. And so I have decided to
share such an episode with my readers.

It was in the summer of the year 1900 that my wife and I went to what is now known as East
Bakersfield, but was then called Kern City, in California, for a tent campaign. At the conclusion
of our two month stay, we went to the railroad station to get tickets for our return to Oakland. Just
before purchasing them, a very distinct impression came to me that I should not go through to
Oakland, but should stop at Fresno.

Now I know that it is a very dangerous thing to be guided by impressions, but this one was of such
a definite character that I could not throw it off. I told my wife how I felt, and said to her, "You
stay here and pray while I go outside and talk to the Lord about it." I walked up and down the
station platform, asking God to make clear to me whether this was His mind. The more I prayed,
the less I could shake it off, so I went to the window and bought a ticket for my wife to Oakland,
but a ticket to Fresno for myself.

As we got on the train, I said, "If when we reach Fresno I am clear about going on, I will simply
step out and purchase another ticket; otherwise I will get off at Fresno." However, when that
station was reached, I simply could not get the consent of my own mind to go on to Oakland, so
I handed my wife all the money I had with the exception of a solitary dollar, not telling her, of
course, the low state of my finances, and bidding her good-bye, I stepped off the train, not
knowing what was before me.

I took my suitcase and went and found a palatial lodging at a cost of twenty-five cents a night! The
little money that I had would not carry me very far even in so inexpensive a place, so I was very
careful not to spend any more for food than was absolutely necessary.

Toward evening, I was on my knees asking God to show me if I had made a mistake, or on the
other hand to give me some indication if He had a service for me in this city. I then went outside
and found, a block away, a street-meeting in progress. There was a good ring to the word being
preached, so I decided to go on to the Mission Hall for the later meeting. I waited until a large
crowd had gathered inside, and then slipped in quietly and sat down by the door. A man and his
wife were in charge of the meeting. I had hardly taken my seat when I became conscious of the
fact that both of them were looking in my direction and whispering together, evidently about me.
It was a little embarrassing, to say the least. The next moment, the gentleman walked down the
aisle, and coming directly to where I sat, inquired, "Are you the one who is to preach here
tonight?" Surprised, I answered, "I do not know."

He looked at me peculiarly, I thought, and then said, "Well, are you not a preacher Of the
gospel?" I told him that I was, or tried to be. "And have you not a message for us tonight?" I
replied, "I am not sure. Why do you ask?" He answered that his wife and he, who had charge of

the Mission, had been praying about the message for the evening, and it had seemed as though a
voice distinctly said to both of them, "I will send My own messenger tonight. You will know him
when you see him." And he added, "So we were watching everyone who came in the door, and
when you entered, we both were sure that you were the person."

This was more surprising than ever, but it fitted in with my own experience, and I told him how
I happened to be in the city that night. He immediately said, "You must be the Lord’s messenger.
Please come right to the platform."

Accepting it as an opening of God, I obeyed, and proceeded to preach the gospel to the assembled
throng. I was immediately asked if I would not remain for at least a two-weeks’ campaign, which
I agreed to do.

This, I should explain, was on Thursday night. I preached the next two evenings, looking to the
Lord daily in prayer that He would supply my temporal needs, of which I could not, of course,
speak to anyone else. But in His inscrutable wisdom He allowed Saturday night to come, leaving
me absolutely penniless. I did not even have the required twenty-five cents to pay for my room,
so I left the room and took my suitcase into a drug store, asking permission to leave it there until
called for.

I will never forget how utterly alone I felt as I stepped out into the street. It was getting quite late
in the evening, and I had had only five cents worth of food all day, and I had no place to go for
the night. Yet somehow I felt strangely lifted up as I remembered the One who had said, "The
foxes have holes, and the birds of the air have nests; but the Son of Man hath not where to lay His
head."

I had a large supply of gospel tracts with me in a number of different languages, so I walked into
what was then the very worst section of the city, and I spent my time until two o’clock in the
morning visiting the vile saloons and! filthy dance halls of the district, until I had distributed about
three thousand of these little gospel messages.

But now even the saloons were closing up. My supply of tracts was exhausted, and still I was left
without any place to go. So following the streetcar track, I walked out to the end of the suburban
line, and there found an empty car into which I crept, and tried to sleep on the benches. The night
had turned very cold, and I could not be comfortable. I tried to pray, but I regret to confess that
I was not in the spirit of prayer. In fact, by this time I was inwardly complaining, not without
bitterness, to God. The Scripture came to me, "My God shall supply all your need according to
His riches in glory by Christ Jesus," and my rebellious spirit exclaimed, "Then why does He not
do this? He has promised and He is not fulfilling His Word."

I became very much perplexed and distressed. But about four o’clock in the morning I decided
that I would find more comfort in walking than in the car, so I went back to the city. In the
grounds surrounding the court house was a large weeping willow tree, the branches of which hung
very low on all sides. I crawled in under them and managed to get about two hours’ sleep where
no one could see me.

When I awoke, God was speaking to me in regard to certain things in my life concerning which
I had allowed myself to become very careless, and I knelt beneath the tree and poured out my
heart to Him regarding my lack of faith and my self-will. The more I confessed, the more things
came to my mind which required self-judgment, until I no longer wondered why God had not
undertaken for me, but I was amazed to think how very good He had been to me in spite of my
many failures.

That afternoon an interested crowd filled the Mission Hall, and at the close of the service a young
doctor came up to me and asked, "Could you come and stay with me? I am lonely for Christian
fellowship, and I would be delighted to have your company."

Well, what could I do but accept? I felt that it was the Lord’s wondrous provision. I hurried off
to the drug store where I had left my bag, and having obtained it, I hastened to the doctor’s
apartment. He noticed that I was rather weary, and suggested that while supper was being
prepared I should have a little nap. To this I very gladly consented.

After supper we went down to the evening meeting. God wrought in power, and quite a number
of precious souls professed to accept the Lord Jesus that evening. Then, without the least
intimation on my part of a need of any kind, one and another of the Christian friends crowded
around me, slipping money into my hands, until when I went back to my room I counted it out
and found I had twenty-seven dollars.

How I thanked God for His mercy! On the morrow I sent my wife a good portion of the money,
knowing it would be needed at home, but I prudently retained enough to pay my railroad fare if
nothing more was received.

A little later I went out to the post office to look for mail, and found a letter from my stepfather.
At the end of the letter I read the following postscript:"God spoke to me through Philippians 4:19
today. He has promised to supply all our need. Some day He may see that I need a starving! If
He does, He will supply that."

Oh, how real it all seemed to me then! I saw that God had been putting me through the test in
order to bring me closer to Himself, and to bring me face to face with things that I had been
neglecting. And so I pass this little incident on to others, hoping it may have a message for some
troubled worker who may be going through a time of similar need and perplexity.

In the opening of this chapter we see an example of man’s great transgression and dishonor of God
in the presence of God’s glory and grace. The elder sons of Aaron fell because they despised the
burnt offering, and God’s fire which had come down in acceptance of it. As a result, Aaron and
his two remaining sons were instructed to guard against the expression of grief or the allowance
of excitement. In these things others might indulge, but not those who had the privilege of drawing
near to His sanctuary. They were also instructed as to the eating of the meal offering and the
sacrifice of peace offerings. There remained the solemn injunction that the priests should eat the
sin offering. Their failure in this respect closes the chapter, deeply appealing to us who, though
of a heavenly calling, are no less apt to forget what it speaks to our souls and means before God.

"And Moses diligently sought the goat of the sin offering, and, behold, it was burnt:and he was
angry with Eleazar and Ithamar, the sons of Aaron which were left alive, saying, Wherefore have
ye not eaten the sin offering in the holy place, seeing it is most holy, and God hath given it you
to bear the iniquity of the congregation, to make atonement for them before the Lord? Behold, the
blood of it was not brought in within the holy place:ye should indeed have eaten it in the holy
place, as I commanded. And Aaron said unto Moses, Behold, this day have they offered their sin
offering and their burnt offering before the Lord; and such things have befallen me:and if I had
eaten the sin offering today, should it have been accepted in the sight of the Lord? And when
Moses heard that, he was content" (Lev. 10:16-20).

Thus we see that the rest of the priestly house, though not guilty of the error fatal to Nadab and
Abihu, broke down in a weighty part of their obligations; and all this was, sad to say, at the very
beginning of their history. How humiliating is God’s history of man everywhere and at all times!

Perhaps it would not be possible to find a more wholesome warning for our souls in relation to
our brethren. We are bound to identify ourselves in grace with the failures of our brethren, as they
with ours. It is a fact that we all and often offend; and we are exhorted to confess our sins or
offenses to one another. Is this all? Far from it! We have to fulfill the type before us, to eat the
sin offering in the sanctuary, to make the offence of a saint our own, seriously, in grace before
God, to behave as if we ourselves had been the offenders.

In this same way the Lord, when indicating by His symbolical action in John 13 the gracious but
indispensable work He was about to carry on for us upon departing to the Father, let the disciples
know that they too were to wash one another’s feet. But here we are as apt to fail through
ignorance or carelessness, as Peter did doubly on that occasion.

The apostle Paul had to censure the insensibility of the Corinthian saints in 1 Cor. 5, but later on
had the joy of learning that they were made sorry according to God, as he expressed it in 2 Cor.
7:9. Again, to the Galatian saints he wrote, "Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law
of Christ," instead of meddling with the law of Moses to the hurt of themselves and of each other.
Individual responsibility remains true:each shall bear his own burden; but grace would bear one
another’s burdens.

Intercession with our God and Father is a precious privilege which it is our shame to neglect. It
keeps God’s rights undiminished, and exercises the heart in love to our brethren. Let us never
forget that grace condemns evil far more profoundly than law ever did or could.

FRAGMENT
When Daniel confessed his sin and the sin of his people, he was surely eating the sin offering.
And such an identification of ourselves with the sins of God’s saints is greatly needed for all of
us. This will be realized more among us as we grow in our knowledge of the cross. Alas! the
slight knowledge of God’s grace may allow a light treatment of sin, or else, perhaps, a bitter
judgment of it. But a real eating of the sin offering makes one equally serious and tender. Who
can harshly judge when Christ has borne the judgment? Who can treat lightly what brought Him
to the cross?

FRAGMENT
Subjection of will is the secret of all peaceful walk in this world. It is Christ’s work which gives
peace to the conscience; but it is a subdued will, having none of our own, which in great and in
little things makes us peaceful in heart in going through a world of exercise and trial.

"What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound? God forbid. How shall
we, that are dead to sin, live any longer therein?" (Romans 6:1,2).

In the fifth chapter of Romans we find unfolded the character of the triumph of grace over sin.
The apostle now, in the beginning of chapter six, is anxious that those who are participators in this
triumph should be preserved from what is a common abuse of his doctrine.

Enemies of the doctrine of grace have sought to discredit it by charging it with making sin a
necessity. There are those who understand the doctrine to mean that it permits going on still in sin.
Flagrant violations of holiness have been defended by the plea that it is allowable under grace to
continue in sin_to indulge the lusts of the flesh. In many places it is taught that victory over sin
is not to be counted on as long as we remain in our earthly life. It is said by some, "We have not
yet received our sinless body, and as long as we have the old sinful body we must inevitably be
subject to sin. It must have at least a certain measure of rule over us."

But the apostle will not allow those who are in Christ to entertain such unholy deductions from
his doctrine of grace. He asks the searching question (if we might paraphrase his words), "Does
the doctrine of grace allow one to go on still in sin? Do we take the view that grace abounding
over sin implies that sin is justifiable as furnishing occasion for the triumph of grace?"

How indignantly the apostle refuses the thought! Such a thought would destroy the true character
of grace; it would rob it of the reality of its triumph; it would mean serious damage to souls. Such
a view is to be wholly condemned. While it is true that we still have our old sinful body, we
cannot allow that we must therefore sin. That, indeed, would not be deliverance from the
dominion of sin.

If it be said, "Our future deliverance is secured but present deliverance is impossible," the answer
is that the apostle teaches otherwise. He teaches and insists on a present deliverance from the
dominion of sin. Our Lord in John 8:34 said, "Whosoever committed! sin is the servant of sin."
The doctrine of the apostle is the same. With him, being under grace and under sin is an
impossibility. Those who are the subjects of grace should regard bondage to sin as incompatible
with subjection to grace.

Let us consider the apostle’s discussion of the subject of present deliverance from the dominion
of sin. Before we begin to follow the apostle’s argument, let us remind ourselves that all men, as
sprung from fallen Adam, are victims of sin and of death. Those laid hold of by grace, which is
by Jesus Christ, have become His seed (Isa. 53:10). As thus sprung from Him, they are sharers
in the eternal life which is in Him and they are of the position in which He is.

What then is His position? Here we must remember that Christ, in grace, once took our position
under sin. He was not personally under it, but in grace entered into the position of being under
sin in the behalf of those who were personally in that position. Having thus in grace taken the
position, He died_death being the penalty of sin, and that which was the due of those in that

position. It was a vicarious death; He could die in no other way. Having died thus making
atonement for the victims of sin, He has risen again and has taken up a new position. He is thus
dead to the former position under sin which in grace He had taken for those under sin.

Now, as we have already said, as sprung from Him we are of Him in His new position. We are
of the position in which He is, and therefore dead to sin.

It is to this blessed fact that the apostle appeals in beginning his discussion as to our right to be
practically delivered from the dominion of sin. His argument is this:Sin having had its reign over
us to its legitimate end in death, and Christ having taken our place in subjection to it, we who have
been laid hold of by His grace have passed out of that position from under sin. We are subjects
of grace, and as such dead to sin. We have the right to be free practically from sin’s power and
rule. We have a positional deliverance which entitles us to live in happy subjection to grace, in
the realization that sin’s rights over us have all been annulled. We are freed completely from every
claim of sin upon us, even from its claim to the use of the old sinful body. What a perfect
deliverance grace has thus provided for us!

Alas, how little it is understood! How difficult it is to lay hold of the true conception of what our
deliverance is! How few are in reality entering into what the apostle means when he teaches, as
he does here, that the subjects of grace_those who are in Christ_are dead to sin!

Some, in their inability to lay hold of the real import of the doctrine of being dead to sin, deny
it altogether. They insist that the fact of our having still the old sinful body is the clearest proof
that we are not yet dead to sin. Others, while they do not deny that the doctrine is taught, and that
there is a certain ideal sense in which it is true, yet deny that it can be practically true. Others still
modify the form of the words in which the doctrine is taught, and say, "We ought to be dead to
sin." In their teaching there is much exhortation to the effect that Christians should strive to die
to sin. How forcefully sometimes we are exhorted to’ put the old man to death. But in all this
teaching the true conception of deliverance from sin is lacking.

Clearly then is our position demonstrated to be Christ’s position of being dead to sin. But this
implies and involves living with Him, and living with Him now, not merely by and by. We shall
surely live with Him when we get our redeemed bodies, but we have title to live with Him now,
while we are still in the old body. He lives no more under sin’s dominion. He went under it once
in grace, but by dying and rising again He lives in eternal deliverance from sin’s power. As
subjects of grace_as being in Him_we are in the same sphere of life in which He is, where sin
cannot enter. It is not simply that we have life in Him, but that we live with Him; and living with
Him implies living in practical deliverance from sin’s dominion.

Now, the very first step toward practical deliverance from serving sin is to think rightly of
ourselves. The apostle tells us in verse 11 how we should think of ourselves. He says that we
should reckon ourselves as dead to sin and alive to God. We are still in our earthly life, but as in
Christ we are entitled to think of ourselves as if we had died and were risen from the dead. It is
this right thought of our position that the apostle presses "upon us here.

Now another thing necessarily accompanies this right thinking of ourselves as if we were dead and
risen. Viewing ourselves as connected with Christ in His position of having died to sin and living
to God, we will consider that sin has no longer any title to the use of the mortal body. We will not
consent to its reigning there; we will refuse that its lusts should govern us. We will look upon the
members of our body as belonging to God, as if they were members of the new body which we
are yet to receive. We will hold them to be instruments of righteousness_not of sin.

If now we take the apostle’s standpoint of looking at ourselves as being in Christ, as if we were
thus dead and risen and living to God, we shall then regard sin’s title to our body as annulled, and
shall recognize the claims of our Saviour-God upon our body_that its members should be
instruments of righteousness. As under these claims, there will be in us a purpose to have God’s
title over us_His rights to our body_ realized in practical life.

May the Lord use the apostle’s exhortations in this chapter to establish in the souls of all the
subjects of His grace an insatiable desire to be practically delivered from sin’s power in its use of
the body for any sinful purpose.

FRAGMENT "I am crucified with Christ" (Galatians 2:20).

The primary definition of "sin" given in Webster’s New Collegiate Dictionary seems to have been
taken straight from the Bible, for it says, "Sin:transgression of the law of God." In 1 John 3:4
we read, similarly, "Sin is the transgression of the law."

It is unfortunate, however, that this is one of the instances where the King James Version supplies
a poor translation of the text. A great deal of misapprehension as to the true meaning of sin can
be traced to the mistranslation of this verse.

To be sure, the transgression of God’s law is included in the domain of sin. But can there not also
be sin in matters concerning which no positive law or commandment of God has been given?
Romans 2:12 states that "as many as have sinned without law shall also perish without law." Also,
in Romans 5:14 we and that "death reigned from Adam to Moses, even over them that had not
sinned after the similitude of Adam’s transgression." From the time Adam was expelled from the
garden until the days of Moses, there was no law given for man to transgress. Yet man’s
sinfulness and wickedness were displayed time and time again during that period, as the Book of
Genesis clearly reveals.

What then is sin? The more accurate rendering of 1 John 3:4 is this:"Sin is lawlessness." In other
words, he who sins is one who behaves as if there is no law_as if God has no will for him. Thus,
sin is the spirit of self-will, the spirit of doing what we want to do without regard for God’s will
for us.

There is much instruction in all of this for us today. To consider sin to involve only the
transgression of the law_the breach of one of the commandments given to us in God’s
Word_tends to have a deadening effect upon the soul. One tends thus to become self-satisfied in
the fact that he is not breaking any of the commandments of Scripture (or at least not any of the
ones he considers to be important). And at the same time he becomes lax about those details of
his life concerning which there is no positive commandment to be found in Scripture.

The vital question we need to keep constantly before us is this:"Am I at this moment doing God’s
will, or am I doing my own will?" It must be one or the other. There is no middle ground.

All too often we substitute for this vital question a somewhat different question. This question
takes various forms:"Is there any intrinsic evil in doing such and such a thing?" "Is there anything
wrong with it?" "Will any harm come from this?" But these are all such negative questions! Let
us turn these questions around and rephrase them so that they sound more like our "vital
question":"Is there any good in doing such and such a thing?" "Is there any possibility that God
will be well-pleased with it?" "Will glory and honor accrue to the Lord from this?" "Is it God’s
will that I should be doing this thing at this time?"

In this present age with its generally low moral condition, it is not hard to find children of God
who think they are living upright lives, but who are, in reality, self-willed, "lawless" individuals.
This is possible because they are content to compare their lives with those about them who are

morally corrupt.

How apt we are to be dragged down to the level of those Christians who walk after the spirit of
the age. Thus, how needful it is to have our eyes fixed on Christ; to have Him before us as our
only Object and the only Standard of our lives. Let us not forget that "sin is lawlessness" and
lawlessness_or self-will_is sin. May it be the desire of our hearts, moment by moment, to seek
His will and not our own.

Why did the Lord Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane ask for the cup to be removed? It was not
fear of the pain of crucifixion or the desertion of His friends or the derision of the crowds. If these
had been the only aspects of suffering involved, He would not have asked to be released from the
responsibility. It was the thought of being made sin, of having sin imputed to Him, of being
forsaken by the Father and being the recipient of His wrath which filled our Lord with horror and
agony.

The death of Christ shows us the horribleness of sin because of what He suffered when He bore
the judgment for it. How can any of us make light of sin or enjoy it when we see what it cost
Christ for our sins to be imputed to Him and for Him to be judged for them?