Have you ever wondered what is the
attraction of reunions of military units? Why would people want to be reminded
of some of the most uncomfortable if not painful and even terrifying times in
their lives? I used to wonder about that but as I have gotten older I have come
to appreciate in a limited way (I have never been in the military) the strength
of the bonds that are forged when people work for a common goal, battle a
common enemy, depend upon each other for their survival, and suffer together.

Priscilla and Aquila are never
mentioned separately, but always together. Their marriage is an example of how
working, serving, and suffering together can strengthen the bonds between
husband and wife.

Priscilla and Aquila worked
together at their secular occupation (tentmaking, Acts 18:3). (For the purposes
of this article, secular occupation will mean the work by which one provides
for the physical needs of oneself or others.) I believe that in an ideal
environment all husbands and wives would do this. Unfortunately, in modern
society few couples can work together in the same secular work. However, even
if they are physically separated during their secular work, they can carry it
out with a common purpose; they can have a partnership of attitude. For
example, let us suppose the husband of a young couple with children goes out to
some job or business, while the wife stays home to care for the children and
house. The husband should not regard his job as a means to inflate his ego or
to make a name for himself in the business or professional world. The purpose
of his job is to glorify God, provide a means to lay up treasure in heaven, and
to provide for the physical and material needs of his family. Likewise, the
wife in spending the money her husband earns and in caring for the home should
not have as her goals keeping herself and the children in the forefront of
fashion or making her home the showplace of the neighborhood, but to glorify
God, have the means to lay up treasure in heaven, and provide for the various needs
of the family.

If the wife works outside the
home, her purposes should be the same ones; her work should not be a means to
pursue selfish ends. There should be this oneness of attitude toward the
purposes of secular work even if the couple cannot engage in exactly the same
work.

The husband and wife should also
minister together to the emotional, educational, and spiritual needs of the
family. Both should be interested in the training and discipline of the
children. Both should share the interests and activities of the children. Both
should provide time in their schedules for family worship, family
communication, and family recreation.

Aquila and Priscilla not only
worked together in their secular work; they also worked together in their spiritual
ministry. Together they traveled with the apostle Paul to Syria (Acts 18:18),
together they ministered to Apollos (Acts 18:26), and together they provided a
place in their home for the assembly (1 Cor. 16:19). Both are referred to as
Paul’s helpers in Christ Jesus (Rom. 16:3). The ideal Christian couple should
be seeking ways to serve the Lord together and to help one another develop and
use the spiritual gifts of each. A husband and wife can minister together in
teaching children, in visits to homes and hospitals, in tract distribution, and
in ministering to the saved and unsaved in their own home. If the husband has
been given a gift for public ministry, the wife can have a part in this as they
study the Bible and pray together. The wife’s spiritual and scriptural insights
spoken to her husband privately may be very helpful to him as he ministers
publicly. Even if their roles in the ministry are somewhat different, they
should have the partnership of a common purpose.

Serving the Lord together promotes
the unity of the couple as well as the interests of Christ. In fact, the unity
of the couple is one of Christ’s interests (Eph. 5:28-31). Working
together to promote spiritual, emotional, and physical well-being in each
other, in their own children, and in persons outside the family will form
special ties between husband and wife that can be formed in no other way.

What about suffering together?
When Paul met Priscilla and Aquila in Corinth, they were essentially refugees,
having been expelled from Rome along with other Jews by the Emperor Claudius
(Acts 18:1,2). They had suffered the loss of their home. Evidently they
eventually returned to Rome because Paul sent greetings to them and the
assembly meeting in their house when he wrote to the Roman believers (Rom.
16:3-5). Paul says of Priscilla and Aquila, "[They] have for my life laid
down their own necks [or risked their lives]" (Rom. 16:4). This may have
been during turmoil in Corinth (Acts 18:6,12-16) or turmoil in Ephesus where
Priscilla and Aquila lived after leaving Corinth (Acts 18:19; 19:23-41).
Obviously, being close friends of the apostle Paul could be dangerous. We know
of all too many incidents where trouble and suffering such as unemployment, the
death of a child, or the serious illness of one spouse has driven married
couples apart. But this should not be. It is a privilege to suffer with and for
Christ and it is a privilege to suffer with and for other Christians, including
our spouse. Love develops and deepens as we go through trials together. The
veterans who still gather to share their memories and comradeship years after
the battles in which they fought know this, and it is a principle suggested by
Scripture as well (Rom. 12:15; 1 Cor. 12:26; Heb. 13:3).

Like Priscilla and Aquila, let us
respond to Christ in such a way that all of life’s experiences, pleasant and
painful, draw us closer together in our marriages as well as in the assembly.