What is your first response when someone criticizes you, rebukes you, corrects you, or tells you
that you are wrong? Why, does not your blood rush into your neck and head, and your hair bristle
a little, and you immediately begin thinking thoughts like these:"I didn’t do anything wrong"; or
"it wasn’t my fault." Or, if, deep down, you know you were wrong, you may say to yourself:
"Boy, what a sorehead!" or "Why are people always trying to put me down?" or "Who does he
think he is, anyway? He must think he’s perfect!" or "He sure doesn’t show any Christian love!"
or "He should talk; he does things ten times as bad himself!" or "How can he talk to me like that?
he’s never been in my shoes."

Now, who can honestly say that he or she has never experienced such reactions to reproof or
correction? Most of us_and I include myself particularly_respond in such a way more often than
not. And with many of us, do not our thoughts often become open and manifest to others_ often
in bitter words of retaliation?

Such are the natural tendencies of man. But let us not excuse ourselves as to such behavior by
saying, "We’re only human." Let us rather listen to what the Word of God has to say about these
things; the Book of Proverbs is particularly rich in instruction concerning the proper response to
reproof and correction. Let’s listen:

"He is in the way of life that keepeth instruction; but he that refuseth reproof erreth" (Prov.
10:17). "Whoso loveth instruction loveth knowledge; but he that hateth reproof is brutish" (12:1).
"Poverty and shame shall be to him that refuseth instruction; but he that regardeth reproof shall
be honored" (13:18). "A fool despiseth his father’s instruction; but he that regardeth reproof is
prudent" (15:5). "Correction is grievous unto him that forsaketh the way; and he that hateth
reproof shall die" (15:10). "The ear that heareth the reproof of life abideth among the wise"
(15:31). "He that refuseth instruction despiseth his own soul; but he that heareth reproof getteth
understanding" (15:32).

"But what if the reprover is not fair?" a teenager may ask. "It was the other boys who were doing
most of the harm." God’s answer is, "He that regardeth reproof is prudent." Even if you were
only one tenth of one percent to blame for the trouble, you are guilty of that part and need to be
corrected. If you refuse correction this time, you may be one percent to blame the next time, and
maybe ten percent the following time, and who knows what it will be the time after that.

"But that person is ultra strict and ultra sensitive, and how can she know anything about raising
children when she has not had any herself?" bewail the young parents. God’s answer is, "He that
regardeth reproof shall be honored." It may very well be that the person who continually criticizes
the way you raise your children has selfish or unloving motives, or at least does not come to you
in the spirit of meekness (Gal. 6:1). But does this negate the force of the reproof? Does it release
you from your responsibility to respond to the reproof in a Scriptural way? Have you ever
considered that perhaps God is trying to speak to you in this way? Maybe you really do need to
modify the way you are raising your children, and God is allowing this trial in hopes that you will
respond in a right way to the reproof and correction.

Many other like questions are often raised by persons who have been reproved. The reprover is
often regarded as a "thorn in the side" by the recipient of the reproof, and thus the words of
correction are taken lightly or disregarded altogether, and this is often accompanied by a bitter
denunciation of or retaliation against the reprover. This is what was experienced by Elijah (1
Kings 19), Jeremiah (Jer. 36-38), John the Baptist (Matt. 14), Stephen (Acts 7), and the Lord
Jesus (John 8). And, sadly, this is what faithful Christians often find today, even when they go
to their erring brothers and sisters in the spirit of meekness:they find both their message of
correction and themselves despised. "He that refuseth instruction despiseth his own soul."

The next time a brother in Christ, or a neighbor, or anyone comes to you and offers a criticism,
rebuke, or a word of correction_regardless of the spirit in which he brings the reproof, try the
following:(a) Thank the person for the reproof and tell him he is right_if the reproof is
justified_or tell him that you will consider the matter before the Lord if you are not sure the
reproof is just; (b) thank the Lord for the reproof; and (c) seek the Lord’s help in accepting the
reproof as chastening from Himself (Heb. 12:5-11) and in learning the lessons which the Lord has
in it for you. Actually, it is impossible properly to carry out this advice by one’s own efforts for
it is exactly contrary to human nature. It can only be done through the power of the Holy Spirit.
We must first have a real, heartfelt desire to be instructed by the Lord, to grow into spiritual
manhood and maturity, to be controlled entirely by the Lord. We must pray continually that we
will be ready at all times to receive instruction from the Lord, not only through the reading of His
Word (2 Tim. 3:16) directly, but through His servants (our fellow-believers) who may faithfully
apply God’s Word to our Me and situation, and also through our non-Christian neighbors who are
quick to pick up and point out inconsistencies in our walk and testimony. We must pray
particularly for spiritual strength to receive reproof and correction from persons with whom we
have little bond of affection or from persons who do not bring the reproof in a spirit of meekness.

Let us soberly consider the message of God to us:"He is in the way of life that keepeth
instruction," but "he that hateth reproof shall die."