“If thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there remember that thy brother hath aught against thee, leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift” (Matt. 5:23,24). “Let a man examine himself, and so let him eat of that bread and drink of that cup” (1 Cor. 11:28).
When is it that we are to examine ourselves with respect to partaking of the Lord’s Supper? I fear that all too often—if we bother to engage in such self-examination at all—we don’t think of doing so until we are in our chairs, one minute before the meeting is scheduled to begin. If such examination yields nothing in our hearts or lives needing to be poured before the Lord in confession, all well and good. But if otherwise, what then? All too often, that which we find in our lives needing to be confessed before the Lord also needs to be confessed to one or more other persons.
The verse quoted above from the Sermon on the Mount has a distinctly Jewish setting; nevertheless the principle is most applicable to ourselves at the present. What if I remember, either during or just prior to the beginning of the remembrance meeting, that another brother or sister in Christ in that same room may still be angry with me because of the way I spoke to or acted toward him/her during the past week? How can I enjoy that remembrance feast in fellowship with the other saints gathered there, well knowing that one is not on speaking terms with me because of my bad behavior? And how is the other person going to enjoy the time, knowing that I am there in the room?
It would be difficult and awkward to try to make confession and bring about reconciliation at that time. Therefore, how much better it would be to begin the examination process the evening before, if not earlier. Thus there would be opportunity for reconciliation with the offended brother or sister via a telephone call or visit. Even better would it be to engage in such self-examination on a daily basis. We should keep short accounts not only with God but with our fellow saints and indeed with all persons, as regards our sins and offenses.
What if the offense occurs just before the meeting, such as during the drive there? I know from personal experience the wretchedness of sitting in a meeting for the remembrance of the Lord after having had a spat with my wife or children during the drive to the meeting. More than once have my wife and I exchanged notes of confession and contrition and of forgiveness during such meetings.
Finally, suppose that, for whatever reason, you have hard and negative feelings toward another person with whom you are in fellowship. Perhaps that person has never confessed an offense to you (maybe he/she isn’t even aware of having offended you). Instead of going on, week after week, harboring bitter feelings toward the other, you have a responsibility according to Matt. 18:15-17 to go to that other person arid “tell him his fault.” Or it may be that no specific offense has been committed; you just don’t like the person. In either case, it is incumbent upon you to judge your bitter feelings, confess them to the Lord, freely forgive your fellow saint if there is a specific offense requiring forgiveness, and be reconciled to your brother or sister in Christ. The One who said, “Father forgive them, for they know not what they do,” while He hung on the cross would surely like to find that same attitude among those who are gathered together to remember Him in His death.