Foundations of Faith
ANGER (III)
We most often think of people losing their temper, blowing up, shouting, etc. But there are other ways. Here is an example from 1 Ki. 21:1-4:“Ahab spoke unto Naboth, saying, Give me your vineyard, that I may have it for a garden of herbs…. And Naboth said to Ahab, The LORD forbid it me, that I should give the inheritance of my fathers unto you. And Ahab came into his house heavy and displeased … and he lay down upon his bed and turned away his face and would eat no bread.” Ahab was angry because he wasn’t getting his own way even though he was king. He didn’t blow up in anger; rather he went off and pouted, perhaps became depressed. It is said that depression often results from suppressed anger—not always, but often. Much of what people today call “stress” is due to going on day after day with suppressed anger and holding grudges.
Another way anger is manifested is the silent treatment. Some people realize deep down that losing one’s temper is wrong, so they express their anger by being silent, not communicating with the ones who make them angry. I once read about two sisters who lived together in the same house. They had a falling out, and lived the last 20 years each keeping to her side of the house, and never once speaking to the other. How awful! How stressful!
Then there are those whose motto is:“I don’t get angry; I just get even.” Surely that is wrong:“Vengeance is Mine; I will repay, says the Lord” (Rom. 12:19, 20). A variation of this is using cutting or mocking words. I remember a high school teacher who, when a certain boy misbehaved in class, called him “Butterball.” If, in our anger, we attack or make fun of the person (in this case, the physical appearance of the person) rather than using the energy derived from our anger to attack and resolve the problem (in this case, his misbehavior), then we are really taking vengeance into our own hands.
We are to be angry, but without sinning. “Be angry and sin not:let not the sun go down upon your wrath:neither give place to the devil” (Eph. 4:26, 27). We considered this in the Jan01 issue.
We are to be slow to anger. “He who is slow to wrath is of great understanding” (Prov. 14:29). “Love suffers long [or is long-tempered] … is not easily provoked” (1 Cor. 13:4, 5). (See Assignment 4)
We are to stop our sinful anger. “Cease from anger, and forsake wrath:fret not yourself in any wise to do evil” (Psa. 37:8; also Gal. 5:19-21; Eph. 4:31; Col. 3:8). In the next issue we shall return to this very important question of how to deal with our problem of anger.
We are to consider the effects and consequences of our anger. “A wrathful man stirs up strife” (Prov. 15:18; also 27:4; Heb. 12:15; Jas. 1:20). “Whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment” (Matt. 5:22).
We have the privilege of passing over some transgressions. “The discretion of a man defers his anger; and it is his glory to pass over a transgression” (Prov. 19:11). Before you lash out at another person for a trivial misdeed (like squeezing the tube of toothpaste in the wrong place), pray! Ask God and ask yourself if it is worth bringing conflict and disharmony into your relationship with the other person over such a matter as this. Also ask God to remind you of the many times the other person has passed over your transgressions. And don’t forget your Saviour who suffered for your transgressions instead of taking vengeance upon you (1 Pet. 3:18).
Christ, besides praying for His tormenters (Luke 23:34), was very patient with His disciples:“There was also a strife among [the disciples], which of them should be accounted the greatest.” The Lord had just instituted the remembrance feast with His disciples. He had just asked them to remember Him, and already they are arguing among themselves which of them should be accounted the greatest. I think the Lord would have been fully justified in giving all of His disciples a sound thrashing for their selfishness … but He didn’t. Rather He gently gave them more ministry.
Likewise, the apostle Paul might rightly have rebuked the Philippians for engaging in petty conflicts, but instead he gave them (and us) the wonderful ministry of Phil. 2:5-11 concerning the humility and subsequent exaltation of Christ Jesus. (See Assignment 5)
How we are to deal with other people’s anger. “A soft answer turns away wrath” (Prov. 15:1; also Matt. 5:44).
We are to avoid stirring up anger in others. “Grievous words stir up anger” (Prov. 15:1). “Fathers, provoke not your children to wrath:but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” (Eph. 6:4; Col. 3:21). If a member of our family has an anger problem, the other members should be much in prayer and in the Word to discover any behaviors on their part that may be helping to kindle the anger of the other. This does not at all excuse one’s anger. “The devil made me do it” or “my parents drove me to anger” doesn’t cut it with God. But at the same time, the more reasons and excuses we can remove from the path of angry persons, the greater the possibility of helping those persons with their problem of anger.
Running the Race
WHAT MAKES YOU ANGRY? (II)
The second most frequent response to a question posed to young people, “What makes you the angriest,” was “people who gossip about me behind my back.”
While whispering and backbiting are sinful (Rom. 1:29, 30), we cannot keep others from doing this. If they are gossiping about your sinful behavior, then repent and change your behavior. If they are gossiping about things you cannot change-such as looks or personality-the suggestions given in the previous issue may help. If they are gossiping about your Christian testimony, rejoice (Matt. 5:11, 12)! You are in good company (Psa. 22:7; 69:12).
Assignment 4: Write out verses in Proverbs 15 and 16 and James 1 that tell us to be slow to anger.
Assignment 5: (a) In Num. 20:1-12, how did Moses’s response to the people’s sin differ from the LORD’s response? (b) How does this passage illustrate Prov. 19:11?