Foundations of Faith
SIN (VII)
Scene: Sunday school class.
Teacher: Last time we discussed the question, “What should I do if I sin?” This time we will consider the “other side of the coin”:”What should I do if one sins against me?”
Who has some thoughts about this question?
Sarah: Doesn’t it depend on whether or not the sinner confesses the sin to me?
Teacher: Yes it does. What should you do if the one who sinned against you confesses that sin to you?
Tom: I think that depends on what the sin was like.
Teacher: Would you explain what you mean, Tom?
Tom: Well, if someone does something really bad to me, I’m not about to forgive him.
Karen: Is that the attitude you want God to have toward you, Tom?
Tom: I’ve never done anything really bad toward God.
Teacher: Tom, I think you had better stop and reconsider what you are saying. (See Assignment 15)
Teacher: What do the rest of you think about forgiving one who confesses to you? What does the Bible say?
Rick: “If your brother trespasses against you, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. And if he trespasses against you seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to you, saying, I repent, you shall forgive him” (Luke 17:3,4).
Tina: “Be kind one to another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake has forgiven you” (Eph. 4:32).
Bill: Even if the sin is so bad that it is very difficult to forgive, the Lord tells us, “Love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who despitefully use you and persecute you; that you may be the children of your Father who is in heaven” (Matt. 5:44,45).
Teacher: All of those verses give very good answers to the question. Now what exactly is forgiveness?
Rick: I remember someone saying something like this:forgiveness is a promise that I will not bring up the matter again. I won’t bring it up to the forgiven one to throw it in his/her face; I won’t bring it up to others to gossip about it; and I won’t bring it up to myself to brood over it.
Teacher: Excellent! True forgiveness of others is patterned after God’s forgiveness of us and includes restoration to full fellowship (Psa. 103:12; John 21).
Lisa: There is a popular saying that goes, “Forgiving is forgetting.” I think I have really forgiven people but I haven’t been able to erase the matter completely from my memory. Am I not really forgiving?
Teacher: You have brought up a very important question, Lisa. God says “I … will not remember your sins” (Isa. 43:25; Jer. 31:34). But He never says “I will forget your sins.” The expression “He will remember their iniquity” (Jer. 14:10; Hos. 8:13) refers to God bringing judgment upon the sinners. So there is a difference in the Bible between forgetting and not remembering. We may never fully forget the sins that others have committed against us, but we can chose not to remember them in the sense of punishing the sinner or holding a grudge against him.
Tom: What if someone steals from me and comes and confesses his sin to me. If I forgive him, does that mean that he doesn’t have to repay what he stole.
Teacher: Not at all. The Bible is clear that if someone causes you to suffer loss, he/she must make restitution to you (Exod. 22:1-14; Lev. 6:1-5). You may forgive that person and have fellowship restored between the two of you while he/she is faithfully paying off the debt. On the other hand, just as the Lord Jesus has totally paid the far greater debt that you owed to Him, you have the privilege of forgiving that person of the debt as well.
Let us briefly move on to the question of what to do if the offender does not confess the sin to you. Does the Bible have anything to say about this situation?
Bill: “If your brother shall trespass against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone; if he shall hear you, you have gained your brother” (Matt. 18:15).
Tina: “Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in the spirit of meekness, considering yourself, lest you also be tempted” (Gal. 6:1).
Teacher: Just the verses I was looking for! Now why do you suppose the offender may fail to confess on his/her own?
Tom: Pride and embarrassment. Also the fear of getting “blasted” if he confesses. I realize that I am pretty tough and unforgiving toward such people; I guess I need to learn to be more gracious.
Teacher: Good points, Tom; it looks like you are learning some things from this lesson. What are some other reasons?
Rick: Maybe the “offender” is not really guilty. Perhaps he has been totally misjudged.
Karen: Besides that, sometimes the offender may not be aware of what he has said or done.
Teacher: Very good. Don’t these various possibilities illustrate the wisdom of going to the “offender” in a humble spirit, according to Matt. 18:15 and Gal. 6:1? This way all kinds of misunderstandings and misjudgments can be cleared up. For the offended one to keep quiet could lead to an unnecessary separation between the two parties.
Let me summarize this lesson. If someone sins against me, I have only two scriptural responses:either (1) I confront that person about the sin or (2) I forgive that person and never bring up the matter again. Holding a grudge is not an option.
Running the Race
Assignment 15: How would you answer from the Scriptures Tom’s claim that he had never done anything really bad against God?
Assignment 16: This is the first part of a review quiz based on the 1996 issues of GROWING. Please refer back to the indicated issue when answering each question.
1. (Jan.) Is work a curse? Write out two verses that support your answer.
2. (Feb.) (a) What does it mean for a husband to love his wife? (b) What lesson is to be learned from the three R’s-Rebekah, Rachel, and Ruth?
3. (Mar.) Write out verses describing each of four consequences of Adam’s sin.