SOME PRACTICAL TOPICS FOR YOUNG CHRISTIANS

Courtesy and Gentleness

"The meekness and gentleness of Christ."

By "courtesy" I do not mean the trivial ornament of labored politeness which is donned like an article of dress on special occasions, but that consistent friendly kindness in act and word, with no undue familiarity, showing proper deference to those superior by reason of position or age.

Courtesy implies due regard for the feelings of others, shown quietly and easily, without flippancy or fussiness. Withal there is to be frankness and candor, not mawkish sentiment or extravagant expressions of honeyed words.

Courtesy, therefore comes from the character of the inner life and thought, which Gentleness, as we shall see, really means. This is the root from which the flower grows; the genuine sympathy which enables us to consider others.

More often than not it is in little things that we show how truly courteous we are, or are not. We show ourselves more truly in little things than in greater ones which we may essay to do, and back of which may lurk self-interest.

What, then, is this Gentleness of which I have spoken? We have it in Christ (2 Cor. 10:1). To us it is said, "Let your gentleness be known of all men. The Lord is near" (Phil. 4:5). It signifies non-insistence upon our rights; it has the thought of yieldingness in it, of giving way to others. It is mentioned as a characteristic of the wisdom from above, and is followed by the expression, "easy to be entreated," more literally, "easily obeying." With this agrees the apostle's exhortation:"Put them in mind to be ready to every good work, to speak evil of no man, not to be contentious, gentle, showing all meekness towards all men." You may notice that here again meekness is associated with being gentle, as in the case of our Lord. The former signifies our attitude of mind toward others in connection with their conduct towards us.

Outside of our blessed Lord, there is perhaps no more striking example than Paul's letter to Philemon. What courtesy, gentleness and Christian grace are there expressed. Consider it carefully. In view of his age and apostolic authority, he might have been bold to command. He would have been within his rights, as men say, if he had enjoined Philemon. But for love's sake, he rather asked as a favor what he desired (vers. 8-10). The apostle really desired to keep Onesimus as a companion and minister, but without having the mind of Philemon, he would do nothing. His manner and action are full of gentleness and courtesy. He sets aside his own desire, does not presume upon his position, nor makes the debt of gratitude Philemon evidently owed him (ver. 19) a ground to insist upon what he wished, nor takes it for granted that he could do as he pleased. Throughout it is a fine exhibition of what we have spoken of, and how the spirit of Christianity produces rare delicacy of feeling and action.

Again, we see the recognition of another's rights without instance on one's own. In an exceedingly fine way the apostle seems to think of the mingled feelings which might be stirred in Philemon by the return of his runaway slave. To remove these, and make it a pleasure to receive back Onesimus, Paul tells Philemon that he will consider the gracious reception of the returning servant as though it was his own reception, and is willing even to assume any past loss. We can imagine how it would ease a somewhat trying situation for Philemon, to consider it as done to Paul himself. We can almost hear Philemon saying, "What wouldn't I do for him to whom I owe so much!"

On the other hand what a thoughtful consideration of the feelings of Onesimus who may have rightly feared to return under the circumstances, being guilty of a serious offence under Roman law. It is all so gracious and affectionate, so full of delicate moral beauty. In this we have an example of being "kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honor preferring one another," and also of having "the same respect one for another" (Rom. 12:10,16).

Intimacy of relationship, superiority of position, right, or moral obligation, should never be allowed to hinder or be made a reason for not showing the courtesy and gentleness which true Christianity inspires. They commend the Truth and ourselves.