From Atheism To Christ

The Testimony of a Saved Anarchist

Having pursued various courses in life in order to gain real happiness, and not finding it, I cast religion aside, as it did not give me what I could enjoy, but rather burdened me with duties which were distasteful to my wild and unruly nature.

Atheism seemed to suit me better, since it left me without responsibility to God, as I thought. I had things very much my own way, but I became more and more dissatisfied; adding rebellion to iniquity, I became an Anarchist. As such, I thought of myself as marching in the forefront of progress, believing that in anarchism I had something that would solve the problems of life. I thought that if only all governments and law could be abolished and men left to themselves, they would eventually do the right thing; all would have enough to enjoy, they would live to a good old age, becoming better and better, until each one would love his neighbor as himself, and true happiness; be restored.

I was soon disappointed. I began to find flaws in anarchism, and I gave up the hope of ever seeing these ideas realized in my lifetime. I was looking for something that would give me joy and comfort now. I occupied myself with art, literature, and music, and some baser sorts of pleasure, but without finding what I desired. I became a believer in the so-called " New Thought." "I will and I can " was my motto. Trusting in an invisible, infinite power within and around me, to do all things, I went on nicely for a time, thinking that at last I had discovered the secret of a happy and successful life. But I was again disappointed; I found that this power was a lying power (Eph. 2:2).

" I tried the broken cisterns, Lord,
But, ah, the waters failed.
E'en as I stooped to drink, they fled
And mocked me as I wailed."

Adversity in business, and sickness in my family, led me to ask myself if my sorrow and misery were not the result of my sin, and if the God of the Bible was not after all the true God who was against my plans. My conscience bore witness to the fact that I deserved the evil which had come upon me. I saw myself as never before-vile, corrupt, and depraved. Those who knew me might have thought otherwise, but I knew better than they what I was and what I had done. I saw myself as in the presence of a holy God, before whom there is no creature that is not manifest in His sight, "but all things are naked and opened unto the eyes of Him with whom we have to do" (Heb. 4:13).

I now wished things could be put right. At this time I heard a Christian, with whom I worked, saying, that if a man wanted to be saved, he did not need to pray, nor join a church, nor do any works, but only believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, quoting that beautiful verse:" For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life" (John 3 :16).

This struck me at once as being the scriptural way of salvation. I now began honestly to investigate if the Bible was really the inspired word of God, and I determined in my own mind that if I was convinced that the Bible was what it claimed to be, I would believe in the Lord Jesus Christ for my salvation. After reading several discourses in defense of this precious book, I was convinced of its divine inspiration, especially upon the argument based upon the fact of fulfilled prophecy, and the unity of the books of the Bible. Admitting the Bible to be the word of God, I knew I was lost and needed a Saviour.

Coming back to John 3 :16, doubts arose in my mind concerning the deity of Christ. In reading the account of the miracles which Jesus wrought in the presence of so many people, learned and unlearned, I was convinced that He was a teacher sent from God.

This left me still in the same condition that Nicodemus was in, when he uttered the words recorded in John 3:2. I needed to be born again. I do not know the exact time when this took place in me, but I do know that I was fully convinced and satisfied concerning the deity of Christ after reading a little tract by Lord Lytton (himself an infidel at one time) on the conversion of Saul of Tarsus. In this tract he examines from every possible side the scriptural account of Saul's conversion, and points out how this haughty enemy of the Lord Jesus was, through hearing the glorified Redeemer, who met him when he was in the very act of persecuting the Church, turned into a meek and faithful servant, who was willing to suffer all things for Jesus' sake.. I was now convinced that Jesus had risen from the dead, that He was what He claimed to be, and for that reason sufficient for my need; I believed John 3:16. I accepted the Lord Jesus Christ as my personal Saviour, and found what I had been looking for-peace, rest, and happiness.

According to the word of God, I have now forgiveness of sins (Col. 1:14); eternal life (John 3 :16); and shall never come into judgment (John 5 :24). I am sealed with the Holy Spirit (Eph. 1:13); I am a new creature in Christ (2 Cor. 5:17); and am an heir of God and joint-heir with Christ (Rom. 8 :17). Heaven is henceforth my home, from whence also I look for the Saviour, the Lord Jesus Christ, who shall change the body of our humiliation that it may be fashioned like unto His glorious body Phil. 3:20,21).

My life is now filled with new motives, new purposes and new power. God has also put a new song in my mouth, even the praises of Him who has called me out of darkness into His marvelous light.

" Let one in his innocence glory,
Another in works he has done,
Thy BLOOD is my claim and my title,
Beside it, O Lord, I have none." G. M. Schmidt