How difficult it is to learn our utter worthlessness, and thus the preciousness of divine grace! and yet to know one's self and grace is the only way to arrive at true, full, lasting peace. Learning what poor self is, in the presence of a just and holy God, is learning the preciousness of grace, and of Him by whom grace came. It was when Job said, '' Now mine eye seeth Thee; wherefore I abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes," that he, doubtless for the first time, felt fully cast upon grace, and brought to taste its sweetness; and yet he was really on better ground than he was before, though he did feel himself to be "vile."
It was when Isaiah had "seen the King, the Lord of hosts," and had said, "Woe is me ! for I am undone, because I am a man of unclean lips," that he fully realized the value of that by which his iniquity was put away and his sin purged :for his heart was light, and he was ready to do any thing for God, saying, " Here am I:send me."
The presence of a holy God is the place in which to get to the full end of self; and we never know the full meaning and preciousness of grace till we get there. We may hold grace doctrinally, and may be able to give a very exact definition of the word "grace; " but we do not really know it, or fully taste its sweetness, till we know ourselves, by seeing ourselves as in the very presence of Him who is Light, and by entering into the meaning of the cross. Then, oh, then, how suitable grace is felt to be! So we may say of Christ, whom grace has provided for us; as long as we are occupied with self, having partial views of our ruin, or feel that we have a leg to stand on, we cannot be fully cast on Christ, or see His preciousness. If so, then the sooner all, even saints, take their true place, the better, that is, as to self. But then saints have a blessed place before God, that is in Christ, He being their standing; and of this view of themselves they cannot have too exalted a conception, for that is simply exalting Christ. The apostle writes, that of "a man in Christ" he could glory, referring to his own standing in Him, "yet," he adds, "of myself I will not glory; but in mine infirmities;" saying, further on, "that the power of Christ may rest upon me." In this way when he was "weak" he was "strong."
Thus our place as believers is a low one and a high one,-low as to self, and high as to Christ. And the one who truly realizes these two places will not live to himself, but to Him who died for him and rose again.
Oh, what a relief to have self gone as worthless, and how blessed to have grace and the Gift of grace, filling the whole mind and heart and life and hopes ! R. H.