Question:
I have an older brother. I love him. How can I get him to leave me alone? He hurts me when we play and I’m not sure if he really cares if I get hurt or not. He really likes to tease me most of the time. We get along well together but it usually ends up with me getting hurt and I cry. What can I do to stop him from playing so hard. He doesn’t know what the word “stop” or “no” means. Help!
Answer:
A few of the things you can “do” about a problem like this are highlighted in capital letters. The first thought that came to me after reading your question was, “Should you not ASK YOUR PARENTS to help with this serious problem?” But you do not mention your parents, and it is wonderful to know that you can cry to the Lord and trust Him to deliver you even if you don’t have parents or others to help you. “When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take me up. I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and He shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord” (Psalm 27:10, 13, 14).
It will help you if you realize that though things seem to be out of control, the Lord is in full control and since He loves you He will not allow you a needless tear (Ephesians 1:11; Romans 8:31-39). He has allowed your brother’s teasing to bring honor and glory to Him, and to teach you valuable lessons that you may not learn in any other way. The Lord wants you to learn to trust Him and WAIT ON THE LORD. This way you will learn that “God is faithful” to you, and that He will either give you deliverance from the teasing or give you the strength to bear it (1 Corinthians 10:13). Your brother may have fallen into the trap or habit that some older siblings sometimes fall into of teasing younger siblings for their own enjoyment with little or no thought for the feelings of the one teased. And this is wrong for the Scriptures teach us “…not to please ourselves. Let everyone of us please his neighbor for his good to edification. For even Christ pleased not Himself; but, as it is written, ‘The reproaches of them that reproached Thee fell on me’” (Romans 15:1-3).
Even though your brother is not being kind to you, you still should BE KIND TO YOUR BROTHER. “Everyone of us” should be sensitive to those around us (which would include you being kind to your brother), and be careful to do always that which is good so he is edified or built up. When people do evil against us, we have the opportunity to overcome evil with good. “Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good” (see Romans 12:19-21). “Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing: knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing” (1 Peter 3:9). We can only keep from returning “evil for evil” by keeping in mind that Christ “pleased not Himself,” and that He bore the reproaches that we deserved to bear for our sins!
Not only should you be kind to your brother, but you should FORGIVE YOUR BROTHER for all the unkind things he has done to you. And God can use your forgiveness possibly more than anything else to help him stop being selfish and become kind to you. “And be ye kind one to another, tender hearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you” (Ephesians 4:32). We should forgive those who wrong us even if they do not confess their wrong. God has forgiven us of our sins, and you should forgive your brother “for Christ’s sake,” Who was wronged for our sins. There is nothing that burns the conscience like the white-hot light of forgiveness. So try it! Forgive your brother right now.