Question:
What are some characteristics we might look for in our future husband or wife? 

Answer:

·         Christian—someone who knows the love of Christ and has received Him as Saviour.  There is a difference between someone who is a Christian and someone who fears the Lord.  We want to marry someone who “is in the Lord” (1 Corinthians 7:39), and desires to bring honor and glory to God.  To the ladies (men, this is what should attract you!), read Proverbs 31:10-31 about the virtuous woman, especially v. 30: “beauty is vain.”  Beware that a young man might say to you, “I love you,” but he may really mean, “I lust for you.”  This is a selfish love, not true love.  1 Corinthians 13:5 says that true love “seeketh not her own.”  To the men, love your wife as Christ loves the church (and He loves the church A LOT!): read Ephesians 5:23-31 about the virtuous man.

·         Virgin—We read in Deuteronomy 22:13-21 that God expects the woman to be a virgin up until her wedding night.  Assume the same for men.  This is very unpopular according to the world’s standards today! 

·         Beauty and charm?—No, this is not what makes a good marriage—must have the love of Christ as our example (Proverbs 31:30).

Further discussion: The characteristics that you want to see in the other person should be what you display of yourself.  Focus on being the right person, not finding the right person, because that is like “hunting,” which sends you back and forth, resulting in heartbreaks.  The only way you are going to get the best is if you allow God to bring you together.  Subject yourself to Him, set your eyes on the Lord, and run the race of life.  All of a sudden, “POOF!” God will reveal that person to you who is running along side you the whole way and has the same goal.  Psalm 37:4,5 says, “Delight thyself also in the Lord.” Realize that as we delight more in the Lord our desires may change!  

Tom Wright warned us that even the most wicked people today know who the lady is that goes from one guy to the next and is considered to be an “easy mark.”  Even they do not consider her to be marriage material!  We are urged not to be an “easy mark.” 

Dave LaMarche read Proverbs 7:6-27, which tells of a woman who seduces a man with nice things while her husband is away.  We need to watch and beware of nice things (such as flowers, poems, etc.) that catch our emotions and may lure us toward a feeling of love that does not truly exist.